Therapy and productivity

Are talk therapy and productivity at odds with each other?

Therapy (at least for me) has emphasized slowing down, taking care of myself, reflecting back on what has worked and not worked, putting my needs at the forefront, and creating goals for how I will uphold those needs in the future. Finding balance and inner peace.

Productivity emphasizes efficiency, “locking in,” forward momentum, getting things done and finding fulfillment through the completion of tasks. Winning. Being on top of the world.

SLOW DOWN. SPEED UP.

Do it with more quality, do it now so you can check it off.

No wonder we’ve become the society that we’ve become…who are we supposed to listen to? The “self-care” encouragers or the “lock in” coaches? What do you think?

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I am finding that reading about various things that help ADHD brains, especially in the productivity department, is helpful. So whether it is there or not there** I am definitely aided by the help of those who keep ADHD’ers in mind with their work practices.

I spend an hour a week with my (relatively new) therapist. We’re in the phase of me telling her my life story and how I got to this point. I’m aware that I present as a superhuman of sorts—balancing a full time job with multiple outside projects, a small business, family, keeping relationships going, being an ear to others, volunteering, and trying to keep a sense of humor about it. But I am exhausted all of the time.

**I did end up getting the ADHD diagnosis—from the psychiatrist. The therapist is not so sure, which is both frustrating and reassuring, but mostly confusing. I get that people can certainly disagree, and one is coming from a more medical perspective and the other though a behavioral perspective, but I could use a clear answer.

To address my own question of self-care or lock in results in a complex internal battle. I am well aware that if I want to move forward in my life, I have to address past conflicts and trauma, yet the tasks of daily life and beyond require me to just “get on with it” to not get stuck wallowing in the sadness of the past.1

Anyway, I can get things done if I ignore everything around me, and I can take care of myself if I ignore my tasks. Somehow I can’t do both and even if I could choose, I would likely choose work. I don’t know how to NOT work. It’s a huge part of who I am. It’s a huge part of that superhuman ability that I’ve been told inspires others. It’s hard to put down because I’m afraid of losing my identity as a “doer” and honestly that admiration.

At the extremes, not getting things done makes me a loser—lazy and slow and I won’t get ahead in life. Not looking inward makes me rash and I’m hurting myself by not reflecting enough and therefore hurting others. The fear of failing at both paths is paralyzing.

Is this a familiar cycle to you? How do you find balance of these divergent roads?