When Did Exhaustion Become Your Normal?

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt exhausted.

If you could see me right now, I’d have both hands in the air.

The funny thing about exhaustion is that it rarely announces itself. It doesn’t knock on your door one morning and say, “Hi Debbie! You’re officially burned out. Time to slow down.”

Wouldn’t that be nice?

Instead, it whispers.

“I’m just busy.”

“This is a crazy season.”

“I’ll rest when things settle down.”

“Everyone feels this way.”

Before long, being exhausted becomes so familiar that we stop noticing it. We begin to believe it’s simply part of who we are.

Maybe I’m just impatient.

Maybe I’m anxious.

Maybe I’m overwhelmed.

Maybe this is just adulthood.

But what if it’s not?

What if you’re not becoming a different person... what if you’re simply running on empty?

Years ago, during one particularly difficult season of caregiving, I experienced something that has stayed with me ever since.

I had spent years caring for my father while raising my children, running my business, managing a household, and trying to be everything for everyone.

You know that season.

Maybe yours looked different, but you know the feeling—too many responsibilities, too many people depending on you, too little space left for yourself.

Then came Mother’s Day.

I wasn’t hoping for expensive gifts or some grand celebration. What mattered to me was simply feeling seen. A homemade card. A flower picked from the yard. Even a silly little lollipop would have meant the world because it wasn’t about the gift—it was about the thought.

That morning... nothing happened.

And something inside of me broke.

I cried. I screamed. I completely lost control.

Looking back now, I realize it wasn’t really about Mother’s Day.

Mother’s Day was simply the moment that cracked open everything I’d been carrying for far too long.

Sometimes what looks like an overreaction isn’t an overreaction at all.

It’s exhaustion finally saying, “I can’t carry this anymore.”

Most of us think exhaustion only means being physically tired.

But I’ve learned it shows up in so many different ways.

Sometimes it’s emotional.

You cry more easily.

Your patience disappears.

Little inconveniences feel enormous.

Sometimes it’s mental.

You can’t focus.

Making even simple decisions feels impossible.

Your brain feels foggy all day long.

And sometimes it’s spiritual.

You feel disconnected from yourself.

Life starts to feel flat.

You’re doing everything you’re supposed to do, but you’re no longer fully living.

The hardest part?

From the outside, you probably look completely fine.

You’re showing up.

Checking the boxes.

Getting everything done.

Meanwhile, inside, you’re quietly running on empty.

One of my biggest struggles has never been recognizing that I’m tired.

It’s believing I deserve to rest.

Even now, I’ll catch myself wondering...

“Am I really tired?”

“Or am I just being lazy?”

“Shouldn’t I push through?”

Maybe you do this too.

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that rest is something we earn.

That productivity equals worth.

That being busy somehow proves we’re valuable.

But what if we’ve been asking the wrong question?

Instead of asking:

“Do I deserve to rest?”

Maybe we should ask:

“What evidence do I have that I need rest?”

That simple shift changes everything.

If you’re feeling depleted, please don’t make another overwhelming to-do list about how you’re going to “fix yourself.”

That’s not what you need.

Start with one tiny sprinkle.

Take a walk.

Read a few pages of a book.

Sit outside.

Take a nap.

Call a friend.

Or simply sit in silence for ten minutes without feeling guilty.

Sometimes healing doesn’t begin with doing more.

Sometimes it begins with allowing yourself to do less.

Because if we don’t choose rest, eventually our bodies and minds will choose it for us.

Today, I want to leave you with one question:

If someone you loved felt exactly the way you do right now... would you tell them to keep pushing, or would you tell them to rest?

I know what my answer would be.

Maybe it’s time we started offering ourselves the same kindness.

🎙️ Want to hear the full conversation?

In this week’s episode of the Maybe I Can Podcast, I dive deeper into the hidden signs of exhaustion, why so many of us struggle to rest without guilt, and how to recognize burnout before it becomes your normal.

👉 Watch the full episode here