Headlines you missed

MAGA, MAHA have no regrets after “Cutting Vaccines for fighting Stupid”

New High for Retirees: Watching a bucket of water evaporate faster than you can say triple digit summer

Californians, Arizonans to fight over water like Indians and Pakistanis, Yuma dubbed Colorado River’s “Strait of Hormuz”

President Trump accepts new gold toupee “Hair Force One” from Qatar

EL NIÑO TO BRING HISTORIC FLOODING , HIGHEST SEA LEVELS TO “ALL THE WRONG PEOPLE”

Ratings are in, local TV News anchors are only viewers watching local news

NOBEL WINNING CYBER SCIENTIST ASKS: “WHICH ‘TERMINATOR’ EPISODE ARE WE LIVING THROUGH AT PRESENT MOMENT?”

US President started endless War at same time Trump family invested in casket manufacturers, Weapons industry, for-profit orphanages, Monument builders

Tucson climate change sales pitch: “Tucson: Saguaros with sand dunes!”

Area man looking forward to Arizona winter “free of plaid wearing Canadians with their generous spending, their mackinaws and their polite manner.”

TRUMP OFFERS PALESTINIAN CHILDREN EMPLOYMENT AS SERVERS AT GAZA STRIP PROPERTIES, AMPUTEES NOT WELCOME

Interest on America’s national debt tops $3 billion a day and many voted Republican because “they know how to run the country like a business”

Jared “camel breath” Kushner cursed with reverse Midas touch with all wartime investment projects

HUGE IRRADIATED CHIMICHANGA RAMPAGES GASTRONOMIC DISTRICT, FOLLOWED BY SOUR CREAM FLURRIES

New Navy recruitment ads air, “Join the Navy, see the inside of a carrier for a year at sea, serving a Commander in Chief who thinks you’re a loser!”

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