Years ago, a mentor of mine, an old European VC, told me a story about the CEO of a major Korean public company.
Once a year, the executives would fly out to meet him. He would gather everyone in a circle and walk around the room, speaking to each person individually.
With the first executive, he spoke softly and slowly while shaking his hand.
Then he moved to the next person and started yelling at him and berating him.
With the next person, he was laughing and patting him on the back.
He kept moving around the circle, a different leader for every person.
My mentor was blown away.
At the time, I didn’t quite understand the story. Now I do.
Every person is an N-of-1.
Think about it: The people you meet and work with could be parents, college students, in debt, from a wealthy family, from a different country. It’s beautiful to know we’re all human. It’s a mistake to believe we all think and operate the same.
What inspires one person may shut another person down. One person needs reassurance. Another needs a challenge. One needs more freedom. Another needs a clearer structure.
There is a saying: To a person with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
This is what happens when a leader becomes too attached to one style, system, or philosophy. They use the same tool on every person because it is the tool they know.
The world doesn’t work like this. Companies don’t work like this.
There is a way to move beyond this mistake.
At more advanced levels of leadership, you customize your approach to the person and the situation.
This applies beyond managing people.
For example every business has its own DNA.
And even the best system that works for one person, will fail if it requires you to become someone you are not.
There is no sameness.
Instead of asking, “What is the best way to lead, learn, work, grow, or become healthy?”
Ask, “What works for this particular person?”
Especially when that person is you.
xx David
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