The Influencer’s Guide to Creative Writing

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My fame (so I claim) is as vast as the sea
I have a blue check mark, so you can trust me
My writing’s unique (as all critics agree)
It’s with it and hip and a bit skibidi
I’ve written this guide using ChatGPT
You can download it here for a nominal fee
Steer clear of cringe topics like E, F, and G
Only Boomers read genres like X, Y, and Z
Never use the N-word or call Gertrude a C
And you’d better tack Q onto LGBT
“Feline” is six letters, but “cat” is just three
Keep all of your vocab YA and EZ
Use only a “you” never “thou” nor a “thee”
Even when quoting the KJ and V
Choose characters’ motives from Table 2.P
Find world-building templates in Subsection D
Your plots should advance like an inverted V
My rules are as square as a carpenter’s T
So write as I write and you’ll never write wrong
Sing in your own voice but sing only my song
It’s fun to write fiction with such liberty
You’re free to write freely but not to write free