What Freedom Feels Like

I’ve never seen a person gain freedom without commitment. It’s not the only step but it is the first step. Knowing what you want the freedom to do and committing to gaining that freedom are the prerequisites to achieving it. They are necessary.

But committing is insufficient.

If you commit to do something and you achieve it without effort, you were probably free already. Nothing changed. If you are free and it’s what you want, put it to work! If you don’t, it will erode and drift away before you know it. Entropy is law. Use your freedom or lose it.

But if you aren’t free yet, I want to talk about the second step after commitment, that marketers don’t want you to remember. It’s the feeling you get when you’re pursuing a liberty you don’t have yet.

Here it is: If the freedom you want is significant, the process will feel terrible.

No matter how sincere you are when you made your commitment, soon enough you will not want to pay the price for it. This is why every new year’s resolution to get in shape is predictably followed by people who stop going to the gym a few weeks later. It’s also why everyone says they want to love their neighbor until their music is too loud or you find out who they voted for.

Everyone wants the result. It’s natural to fantasize that the process should be easy, convenient, or inexpensive. But becoming free cannot be achieved that way. It’s simply not available without releasing on your preferences and showing up when you don’t want to.

Instead, do the one thing you don’t want to do but your future self will be glad you did. Frame it in your mind as an opportunity to achieve your freedom. It’s not a chore. You don’t have to be free. You get to be. If you want it, get after it today. And again tomorrow. Don’t skip a day.

If you do miss, don’t bother beating yourself up about it. It won’t help. Simply start again the moment you realize you’ve missed the mark you’ve set for yourself. In time, you’ll learn how to embrace the discomfort. To hug the cactus. To get comfortable being uncomfortable.

By respecting these steps--committing, releasing, and embracing--you can confidently anticipate that freedom will be yours soon enough. This is the unavoidable and glorious process of transformation. Given a long enough timeline, freedom is the natural result. The steady march toward liberty. It’s how achieving freedom works and how it feels.

The good news is that you’re not the first person to pursue freedom and you’re not alone. Others have been on the march, often on your behalf, for as long as women and men have sought freedom. You’re the benefactor. You’re also the baton holder. Now, it’s you’re turn to humbly put yourself on the hook.

I say humbly because humbled is how it feels when you wake up, don’t feel like doing the thing, and get after it one more day. Become friends with that feeling. When you wonder why “this” has to be so hard, remind yourself that hard is what achieving freedom feels like. It’s telling you you’re doing it right.

Commit today to the freedom you seek. Anticipate what the process will feel like. Then, de-signify your feelings and do it anyway. Do it for your future self. Do it for those you say you love. And, maybe most of all, do it for those you wish to love but have yet to find the freedom to love just yet.