What do you do when you feel afraid?

Dearest Reader,

I’ve been noticing a persistent hum of fear in the background lately—just beneath the surface, especially in the evening, when I’ve historically struggled with dread.

Some things I’m afraid of are easy to pinpoint: worrying about my two very senior cats, for instance, and wondering how much time we have left. Also my parents and sisters and partner, and their health and well-being. And of course all things financial security and self-employment-related. Not to mention living somewhere I’m not a citizen.

Other things are more nebulous, falling into an ocean-sized bucket of existential angst, amorphous dread, and anticipatory grief that’d be easy to chalk up to midlife—except it’s been with me since childhood.

And yes, yes, of course I know how fortunate I am. Of course I practice gratitude each day throughout the day, because however airy-fairy, it really does work.

But, you know. Fear is part of being human. And from a Chinese Medicine perspective at least, the practice is remaining attuned to the healthy movement of fear—and responding as needed—without getting lost in fear or living through a fear-colored lens.

I laid out all the ways I personally engage with this practice in my TCM Deep Dives on fear and worry. But I thought I’d pull three of them to share with you here. I’ve found them particularly helpful lately, and figured someone else might need them, too.

I take a fear inventory. I start by getting to the heart of what I’m really afraid of—the fear beneath the fear—and feeling into the actual sensations in my body and mind (that’s a whole practice in itself, and surprisingly helpful). Then I ask myself a two-part question:

• What’s the worst thing that could happen here?

• Even if that thing happens, what can never be taken away from me?

I typically land on mindfulness, meditation, and yoga—and ultimately on nature and Love.

Note that this inventory has a very different intention and energy than catastrophizing or rehearsing the worst. It comes from a calm, almost detached place of observation. It’s next-level “going straight in” and, for me, often comes down to: well, if the worst thing I can imagine happens, spirit and Love remain.

In locating what no one can take away, I have a place to direct my Qi. I know what to nourish and cherish.

I identify one next step. I do that one step with full presence—showing up 100 percent for it, no multitasking. Then I identify the step after that. I keep taking one step after the next, slowly, one thing at a time, fully focused on the most important thing—what I’m doing right now. The practice is to exercise agency where I can and give over what’s not up to me.

I remind myself: Every problem contains its solution. This is an ACIM-inspired mantra that I’ve only recently begun working with. I’m not fully sold on ACIM but find parts of it deeply resonant and useful. So far, I’ve found this practice helpful when I’m afraid of a specific situation and can’t see my way through. Rather than trying to intellectualize it, I simply try it on and notice what happens—how it affects the movement of Qi, how it shifts the trajectory.

Those are just three of the many practices that I find helpful. If you’re looking for more, you’ll find them in the “bringing this into your life” sections of the Deep Dives below:

In case you missed it, I shared some beautiful gems last week in the August link-up: think unexpected, non-boring ways to simplify this last stretch of summer, guidance for paring things back to the essentials while still feeling rich, and one woman’s story of finding love and purpose in her fifties in Paris.

Meanwhile, the last two editions of Hungry For, a new collaborative series, had beautiful synergy. Adam PT offers a case study in intentionality and agency. Dr Vicki Connop embodies intuition and trust. Both speak to tending to the basics and what really matters. Look for the next one this Wednesday—I’m excited to share someone near and dear to my heart with you.

I also just completed the monthly update of SoberStack™, my directory of alcohol-free writers on Substack. Three years in, we’re at 217 listings!

Lastly, for those of you tracking the new TCM Deep Dives series on holistic beauty, the next installment on Chinese Medicine foods for healthy skin and hair is coming soon. Because I don’t have all my TCM books here in Thailand, I ordered new copies of certain texts to reference directly. This set back my original schedule a bit, but I think the end result will be worth it. Look for the next installment this week or next.

For now, I’ll leave you with what’s nourishing me and what I’m hungry for—and an invitation to share yours in the comments.

Melodic chanting. As I mentioned in the last letter, the “rains retreat” is now underway in Thailand. This is when monks traditionally stayed put in one monastery for three months during the rainy season, and many laypeople make their own resolutions. Because we live next to the village temple, our house is now filled with the monks’ resonant, melodic chanting. Some nights they chant for literally hours, deeply calming my nervous system.

Date squares and drip coffee. You know how, in the last letter, I was pining for Canada? Well, as much as I’m grateful to be caffeine free this year (excepting cocoa and dark chocolate, 222 days and counting!), sometimes I want nothing more than to swing by Fancy Pants in Bridgewater and pick up a large drip coffee and date square.

Part of what excites me about writing these letters is hearing about your lives—what’s supporting you, what you’re wanting more of in the days and weeks ahead.

With that in mind, I’d love to hear:

• What’s nourishing your body, mind, spirit?

• What are you hungry for?

• What do you do when you feel afraid?

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Before you go, would you mind tapping the heart ❤️? It helps these letters reach more readers and genuinely brightens my day.

Thank you, with love,
Dana