What were your life events that lead you to realize, “Hey, I’m pretty funny.”It wasn’t so much life events, but a collection of small moments that made me think I was funny. I remember one of my classmates in grad school saying I was the funniest person she’d ever met.
At the time I thought, “This person has not met a lot of people.”
I also have a clear memory of a running buddy giving me the same feedback about five years later. And over the years, random friends and acquaintances would say “You should do standup comedy!”
I don’t think there’s anything noteworthy about any of these random moments, except for the fact that they are stored in my brain, all these years later. That my mind has carved out room for these memories tells me I’ve felt pulled toward comedy for a long time.
Did your parents encourage your funny side?I wouldn’t say my parents went out of their way to encourage my funny side. I can’t recall my parents encouraging much of anything beyond going to med school or marrying a doctor. I did neither.
That said, our family definitely values humor in general. Growing up, I thought my dad was the absolute funniest person I’d ever met. (I still think he’s very funny, but I’ve come across a lot more people over the years.)
My dad was always doing impressions, making fun of something or someone that rubbed him the wrong way, or using humor to diffuse a tense situation. We often made jokes at another family member’s expense but it was always with love.
How did you nurture your funny side?
Although I never made a conscious effort to nurture my funny side when I was younger, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that I gravitate toward people who are quick to laugh.
I also tend to be pretty discerning in my relationships. When I was single, if I didn’t feel like I could be my full self with someone pretty quickly, I didn’t waste my time with them. Same thing with friends- if I can’t go full Pam with you, I will not be spending much time with you.
I find that the more relaxed I am, the funnier I am; it’s hard to access the creative, uninhibited part of my brain that comes up with the most random, absurd remarks when I don’t feel fully at home.
So I think surrounding myself with people who I feel comfortable totally weirding out with is a big part of how I’ve nurtured my funny side.
Do you think you may have inherited your funny bone?
For sure. Again, my dad has a very sharp sense of humor. Same with my uncle (his brother.) I remember them sort of tag-teaming, telling stories from their childhood and just cracking everyone up at family gatherings.
Did being funny ever get in the way of a close relationship?
Yep. My oldest is 14, and sometimes I joke to lighten the mood when we’re in an argument. That has backfired many times; my daughter feels I’m making fun of her or that I don’t take her seriously.
There is a time and a place for jokes, and I am definitely guilty of misjudging that.
If you’re in a partnership, is he or she funny?
My husband and I have been married for almost 16 years, and while I wouldn’t list “funny” as one of my husband’s top five qualities, he makes me laugh all the time.
When I was on the hunt for a man, I had a very clear list of requirements, and as I recall, being funny wasn’t on it. Although I think it should have been.
Life can be so hard. Between marriage, children, managing a household, aging parents, figuring out how to log into all our kids’ school portals—if we couldn’t make each other laugh, I think we would have been done a long time ago.
If you have a funny partner is there ever a joke competition or do you play well off each other?
I’m hyper-competitive about practically everything. My husband actually gives me shit for that all the time. But no, we’ve never really had a joke competition because there would be no contest. It’s a known fact in our house that I’m the funny one.
We do play well off each other, though, especially when we team up to rage bait our kids.
Also, he is super kindhearted and conflict adverse and rarely engages in gossip of any kind (which is a bummer). But once in a while, he’ll surprise me when he drops a real zinger or crosses a line, and it brings me so much joy to think my sense of humor has influenced him.
Did being a jokester ever get in the way of school or work?
I don’t know if I was necessarily making jokes but as a kid, I always got in trouble for talking in class.
Was anyone ever threatened by your humor?
Not that I can think of but that would be amazing. I am five feet tall, and although I’m sure there are people who don’t like me, I don’t know that anyone would describe me as threatening.
Can you tell me about a time when you turned something painful into something humorous?
I was diagnosed with Bell’s Palsy in 2014, right after giving birth to my second child. That’s when half your face spontaneously becomes paralyzed. Normally it clears within a few weeks but I had a severe case. Long story short, that first postpartum year was hell for me, for a few reasons but mainly the Bell’s Palsy.
I’ve written a lot of jokes about Bell’s Palsy, and am working on more now, and it’s hard to express how healing that has been. At the time, it was so heavy. I remember thinking, “I know I’m supposed to learn something from this but all I can figure out so far is that I’m vain and privileged.”
I felt guilty and ashamed for being so wrapped up in my appearance. The idea that someday I could metabolize that pain and turn it into joy—that would have blown my mind.
Can you describe the type of humor you possess?
I would say I’m witty- usually quick to come up with a funny or absurd remark in conversation. I also like dark or gallows humor and can also be self-deprecating and silly. I’m not great with physical humor- that’s something I’d like to develop.
My family has been going through some hard stuff lately and I’ve been making some really dark jokes about it. It’s nothing I could say in public without facing a shitstorm of criticism (not to mention sharing info that’s not mine to share), but it brings levity to ashitty situation. So that’s my gallows humor.
On a more regular basis, I often make fun of myself just because there’s so much material there, and poke fun at my family (with affection) because that’s my love language and it lightens the mood when there’s tension.
If you have kids, when was the first time you made them laugh?
I can
’t remember a specific time but when they were little I made up this character who would adopt different personas- uptight librarian, angry New Yorker, pretentious Boulder hippie/trustfunder, almond mom, dorky engineer, to name a few- I’d take requests and do impressions and they would laugh so hard.Did your kid inherit your comedy skill?
Yes, both did in different ways. My 14-year-old has a sharp, biting sense of humor, which definitely comes from me, not her dad. (He is far too kind.)
My 12-year old has Impeccable comedic timing and wit, and has offered some really valuable feedback on my standup jokes.Did your sense of humor change in the last 5 years?
I’m definitely more attuned to why a joke is funny and how it was constructed than I used to be. Where I used to just laugh, now I’m more likely to analyze why it worked.
I’m also constantly jotting down unhinged ideas in my notes app of things I encounter in my day that could potentially turn into a joke.
But do I still laugh at the same things I laughed at five years ago? Largely, yes.
I will always laugh at myself. But as the state of the world changes, my jokes are darker. And as my kids enter new stages and parenting looks different than it used to, the way I joke about parenting and kids has changed to reflect my current experiences and perspective.
Was your humor ever mean?
Without getting too deep into the details, I joked with someone I’m close to about a difficult situation they were going through a couple of years ago and it was… not funny. It was too soon, too harsh, and instead of making them laugh, it hurt their feelings, which I felt terrible about. I wish I could take it back.
Being direct and unfiltered is a double edged sword- I like being clear on who I am and what I want to express, but there are certainly times I wish I was more discerning with my words.
What would be the title of your life right now?Confident for no reason
Who is your role model? If you could say anything to this person, what would it be?
Ann Imig, the founder of the Listen To Your Mother show, a national storytelling show celebrating motherhood. I had the opportunity to co-produce the LTYM show in Boulder—an experience that gave me so much confidence in my abilities to write, lead, and build community. Not only is Ann hilarious, she’s someone who lives her values, elevates other women’s voices, and has brought her own creative visions to life many times, not just with LTYM.
Pam Moore is a writer, stand-up comedian, and facilitator of virtual communities for Jewish women creatives.
An award-winning journalist whose work has appeared in The Washington Post, TIME, and The Guardian, she writes the newsletter Real Nourished, exploring creativity, identity, community, and belonging.
When she’s not writing or performing, she’s usually riding the trails and dirt roads around Boulder, Colorado on her gravel bike—or drafting Substack notes she’ll probably delete before publishing.
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Let’s Chat!!
I’ll kvell first… I love the honesty here. I really want to know some of your Bells Palsy jokes. My son had Bells Palsy when he was 8. Luckily, he had a sense of humor about it and learned who Elvis Presley was since his upper lip resembled the King’s.
Stand up is more difficult than humor writing. IMHO. I’ve done both. Stand up is facing your (readers) audience in real time without rewrites. Scary!
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