Weeknote 26/2026: Leaving, Sort Of

Hello!

A long time ago - over thirty years in fact - I left school.

There was no ceremony. No prom. Not even a gathering in a hall to mark the occasion. I simply finished my Higher exams and didn’t go back, (temporary) freedom ringing in my ears.

What I did instead was to spend June improving my driving skills, passing my test before the end of the month, and spending time with friends. It felt like the beginning of something special, where my life was pretty much mine to spend as I chose. From the somewhat hazy memories, I think I made this most of this time and enjoyed the adventures of a long, reasonably warm summer.

My daughter finished school after her only exam diet a few years ago, a survivor of Covid alternative assessment arrangements which in some ways benefitted her and in others did not prepare her for higher education. From my vantage point her senior school experience was a never-ending experiment of social segregation, rather than designed for her educational benefit and personal growth. On the upside, it meant we had more time to share with her and I value that extra time deeply. However, I know it must have felt like a very different ending to school education. Probably more of an escape than an ending to be fair. However - like me - she spent the summer between school and her next step in a similar way and I was so proud she passed her driving test (as she insisted she would) the week before she left for university with an extra layer of freedom and control over her life choices.

This time it’s my son who is finishing his school education. The last three years flew past and, in contrast to his sister, his exam experience was (mostly) back to pre-2020 arrangements in senior phase. His relief and joy when the exams ended brought me straight back to 1995, and I knew that his thoughts were on the increased agency and opportunities that immediately came into view. A few weeks later, he turned 17 and attended prom with friends to celebrate the end of a school year for some and the end of a life chapter for others.

Marcus Aurelius wrote:

“Loss is nothing else but change, and change is Nature’s delight.”

Of course he wasn’t writing about school leavers or driving tests, but there’s something in it I keep coming back to: an ending isn’t something done to you, it’s just a checkpoint taken while life keeps moving. Whether it provides peace or anxiety seems to be entirely down to the individual.

Birthday weekend. We started at Gino’s, an Italian in Stonehaven that’s become the venue of choice for family celebrations over the past decade or so. It started shortly before we moved abroad for a spell, and simply carried on once we were back. My son chose it because it holds happy memories for us all.

I took him out for his first driving lessons that weekend as well. I remember my first family driving lesson well: Mum in the passenger seat, foot overtly pressing a brake that wasn’t there, knuckles and face white as I accelerated away from the kerb with the confidence of youth. To be fair, in my experience, I’d already had a few ‘official’ lessons so knew the biting point and - surprisingly - how to navigate the dual carriageway at speed. This time around - in the same location - I was trying desperately to remember the initial steps my (awesome) driving instructor took me through to build that initial confidence. He did well - really well - and I look forward to a time in the near future where he collects me from a well-earned night out, as his sister did. Hey, I can invent my own rites of passage too.

The following week, my partner and I met in the Music Hall for an event our family hadn’t experienced before: a leaver’s ceremony. Outside of the usual events - prizegiving, musical moments and an interesting photo montage of former head teachers - our son walked across the stage, collected a certificate and… officially left. It might seem a little anti-climatic to describe it this way but it was simply just a moment, with an underlying confidence that he would be absolutely fine taking the next steps alone.

He walked off that stage into a life that’s about to get a lot bigger than the one he’s known. I don’t get to see most of what’s coming next, and I think that’s exactly the point. Some rites of passage are for the person leaving. This one, I think, was mostly for the rest of us.

Take care and have a great week xx

You are welcome to subscribe to my weeknotes for free, or just dip into them every now and then. Becoming a paid subscriber allows me to fund my Computing Science education website (www.csteach.uk) and pay the love forward to other creators. If you want to support me but not commit to a subscription, there is the option of buying me a coffee.