Your baby was hungry. You were too.

Hi friend,

There is a kind of hunger that can feel easy to honor.

The baby rooting at the breast or crying for a bottle.

The toddler asking for another snack.

The child standing in the kitchen saying, “I’m still hungry.”

For many mothers — especially mothers in eating disorder recovery — our children’s hunger can feel obvious.

Valid.

Worth responding to.

Of course you’re hungry.

Of course you need more.

Of course your body is asking again.

But when our own hunger shows up?

That can feel much more complicated.

I remember the early postpartum days so vividly — the dim light, the milk-stained clothes, the baby tucked close, the bottle parts by the sink, the water bottle just out of reach, the ache of my body trying to heal and feed and function on broken sleep.

And then the hunger.

Deep, urgent, almost startling hunger.

The kind that made sense in my head, but still felt hard to trust in my body.

I knew what I would have told another mother.

Of course you need food.

Of course your body is working hard.

Of course feeding a baby, healing, sleep deprivation, and constant caregiving ask so much of you.

But knowing did not always quiet the fear.

Because sometimes my baby’s hunger felt easier to honor than my own.

And maybe this is one of the tenderest parts of recovery in motherhood:

We may know how to respond to our children with softness before we know how to respond to ourselves that way.

We may believe our children’s needs are valid while still questioning our own.

We may feed a baby with tenderness while quietly judging the hunger rising in us.

If postpartum hunger, breastfeeding, pumping, bottle-feeding, body changes, or the constant demand of being needed reactivated old eating disorder fears for you, I want you to know this:

You are not failing.

You are not selfish.

You are not less devoted because your body needs care too.

Your baby was hungry.

And so were you.

Both were true.

Both were worthy of care.

This week on Lift the Shame: The Podcast, I’m talking about postpartum hunger, feeding a baby, body demands, and why a mother’s own need can feel so vulnerable in eating disorder recovery.

My hope is that this episode feels like a soft place to land if you have ever wondered why it was easier to feed everyone else than to feed yourself.

You can listen to today’s full episode of Lift the Shame in the podcast player above.

A reflection to carry with you:

What would I believe about this hunger if it belonged to someone I loved?

Maybe you would believe it made sense.

Maybe you would believe it deserved a response.

Maybe you would believe it did not need to be earned.

Maybe, slowly, you can begin to believe that about your own hunger too.

With you,

Crystal

P.S. If this conversation names something you’ve been carrying quietly, I’d love to invite you to Lift the Shame, my free monthly support group for mothers and moms-to-be in eating disorder recovery. It is a gentle space to be with other mothers who understand this tender overlap between motherhood, recovery, food, body image, and the fear of passing it on.

You can learn more and register for free here.