Giving myself permission to switch off

I write this post on a Friday afternoon, on the cusp of logging off from work, shutting my laptop lid, and packing away my work phone. The sun is shining, and I’m half sitting up, half lying down to keep myself stable in the hammock. I’ve been busy at work, between staring at screens, editing work, answering emails and writing out my to-do list for the coming week.

If you have been around for a while, you may or may not have noticed that for the past couple of years, I switch off and log off from my own work when it comes to my personal life.

In a world that feels always on and always buzzing. It can feel hard to disconnect and break away from it all (if not - most of it).

Two very different reasons fuelled my decision around this approach. Number one being the priority of my family. I needed to mentally allow myself to be off, so I could not only be as present as possible for others, but for myself. To allow my mind to quieten, so that I can come back to my work with energy and enthusiasm.

Secondly. I was finding it increasingly hard to make my own decisions that felt right for my business.

I felt completely bombarded with what I thought I should be doing, or perhaps what I’m being told I should do. Internally, my mind was trapped in a cycle of not being particularly productive because it was stuck on what my next move was.

To start with, I went cold turkey and deleted all socials. I did this for a few months, to give myself that separation I needed and ultimately the breathing space to discover what was next.

I then eased myself back in. Slowly, using Meta Suite, I began to post from the desktop and connect in the Direct Messaging section.

Next, I only downloaded instagram for my work iPad. Again, to allow myself the distance I needed, and create with an intentional mindset. It allowed me to pause and think…is this piece of content a good fit for my work? (Sometimes the answer was no, and I’d scrap what I’d just made because it was either completely off-topic or stepped over the boundary I’d set myself).

My next step was to have a look at my personal phone and see how I can erase as many non-negotiable apps as possible. Leaving me maps, email (for booking confirmations mainly) and banking apps.

I had to get creative here and allow myself to experiment without the judgement for myself. The irony here is that I enjoy making content. I love the creativity element, along with editing and pushing myself to expand my learning.

With this, I would use my different cameras to capture whatever it was that I was making. Sometimes that was just sticking to my go-to love for flowers and nature.

I started editing more on the desktop and sending from my iPad, scheduling ahead of time so that I could reach my intended audience’s ideal time. I also allowed myself the intentional time to engage, like and connect with other small business owners and artists. Making sure to kick myself off the app after the allocated time.

There have been some learning curves, and I soon realised I did need to poke my head into the space a little to check what was going on, what the new features were to take advantage of and look over the insights to see what wasn’t really working.

I’ve created more in the last few months alone than I have in years. I’ve created for fun, for relaxation, for purpose, for storytelling, for connection, for learning, for growing and simply just because I felt the creative pull to.

All of which has been to benefit myself, family/friends and the wider community.

I let go of the perfectionism and the scrutiny that have been holding me back. My creativity was always for the benefit of the business or for a product, in a way that was created for ‘trends’ or what the intended audience might like. And now, that same creativity is for my own expression, or facilitated in a safe space for the community.

The more I’ve made, the more relaxed and at ease I’ve felt.

For the most part, it looks like a house full of random projects and materials that are within reach and in sight.

A simple point-and-shoot camera, for fun, holds a lot of charge and doesn’t require any perfecting (think 00’s disposable camera - just now it’s with an SD card instead).

An old plant pot jar full of felt-tip pens, and a colouring book.

A notepad to journal in and get thoughts down on paper.

A sketchbook.

A few paintbrushes, paint and pencils.

A glue stick, washi tape and a few stickers if the need for collage is calling me!

Finally, a book of some sort (I’m a slow reader, but I try to always have one on the go).

Sometimes I will use my digital SLR, because they’re both a pleasure to use, and often I’ll take these on family days out.

Over the years, as my business has changed, the increase and demand for my business to be online has not only changed but required more of me. (Whilst I originally built an online business, it required very little of me until the shift around 2019-2020 onwards with the COVID pandemic, and since then, the demand to transform yourself and mould your business around the ever-changing online world felt increasingly intense).

My business model has transformed into one I hadn’t planned on, but equally worked at the time. Now that the business model isn’t enough, and it required me to change again. It happens. However, this is where I struggled, because I was now overwhelmed with what to do with my business and had no idea how or what it was to become. (This is where the cold turkey on socials came from - to claw back my own understanding of what I wanted out of my business).

From this moment forward, I completely changed my business model. I no longer made physical products, and I was no longer just creating lettering videos that had originally sent my socials viral thanks to 2019 Buzzfeed.

I was also now running on fewer hours and had to be more productive with the time I had.

I approached brands for UGC (user-generated content) because I could earn money with the supplies and knowledge I already had, without any additional need to invest any money. This approach to freelancing my marketing work allowed me to concentrate on making art and lettering for my own relaxation, release and enjoyment.

I now carve out specific times and days for certain tasks. When I’m working on Han’made, I will create content that aligns with my purpose and schedule ahead of time or use trial reels to explore a few ideas (and then later post to the grid).

The same with my YouTube. I treat my work like any other task for a client; I schedule it in the diary, edit, and upload ahead of time. Allowing me on a Wednesday at 8 pm to do bedtime and cuddles, instead of frantically publishing my video (something I had been in a bad habit with).

The best bit of all of this is that the spare time I might have been cramming in work that I never got finished because I was doom scrolling in a pit of procrastination, was that I started my Holistic Creative Therapy course. It required a good 10 hours a week from me, for the best part of nearly a year, but I’m pleased to report the end is in sight, with my last module submitted for assessment.

I’ve really enjoyed having a focus for learning, and just before this big chunky set of work, I completed my Training and Education qualification and hope to further my studies in the coming months to help support the work I am doing.

I realise that my relationship with how intense my business became running online came from a place of uncertainty. COVID was an uncertain time for business. Raising a family was an uncertain time for business. Both of which were times when being so present online felt like I was incredibly isolated at home. I’ve craved human connection, stories from people in person, and to see first-hand the benefits my work provided.

With this, I made it my mission to work intensely online when I had to do so, and when I didn’t need to, it was time to completely disengage from it.

I feel incredibly fortunate that many of you have stayed to watch this business journey unfold, and for that, I will always be grateful.

With love,

Hannah x

P.S. You can find my latest therapeutic art videos over on my YouTube channel here: