This week in America, ICE unveiled electric shock gloves as a “de-escalation” tool, the USS Abraham Lincoln became a floating case study in abysmal morale, Natalie Harp continued her transformation into the president’s human printer, and the national debt crossed $40 trillion. If you were looking for reassuring signs that the adults are in charge, you may want to go back to bed.
ICE insists its new shock gloves are meant to reduce injuries, because nothing will make you calmer than 380 volts of current running through your body. Meanwhile, sailors aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln were told conditions weren’t nearly as bad as they had reported, proving that the fastest way to improve morale is simply to redefine misery as fake news.
Inside the White House, Karoline Leavitt is preparing to depart while Natalie Harp appears to have become the administration’s indispensable Trump whisperer, keeping the president supplied with a steady stream of favorable headlines and printouts. Somewhere, the National Archives is wondering whether future historians should preserve the official records or just back up the printer queue.
And finally, America officially surpassed $40 trillion in debt. The good news is that both parties agree the nation’s fiscal path is unsustainable. The bad news is that they also agree someone else should fix it. At this point, the federal budget resembles a family that’s stopped opening its credit card statements because they figure what they don’t know won’t hurt them.
Clay Bennett - Tribune Content Agency
Steve Sack - cagle.com/sack
Mike Luckovich - Creators
Matt Wuerker - Andrews McMeel
David Horsey - Tribune Content Agency
Jack Ohman - Tribune Content Agency
Rob Rogers - Tinyview Comics and Andrews McMeel
Bill Bramhall - Tribune Content Agency
Paul Duginsky - cagle.com/duginski
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