Have you ever felt like you didn’t quite belong? Such was the case for a twenty-something news anchor in Baltimore, who kept getting reprimanded by her bosses for showing too much empathy to the people she was reporting on. She was deemed unprofessional for crying on the nightly news or delivering blankets to a family who lost their home in a fire the day after she interviewed them. Rather than working to lessen her empathy in favor of objectivity, she found a way to make that trait her superpower.
The woman realized she wasn’t in the right role for her personality and instead went on to work her way up as a talk show host, using her platform to create empathy from storytelling with the intention of raising consciousness.
Her talk show became the most popular and longest-running daytime show in history. She created a media empire by publishing her own monthly magazine, founded a TV network, and launched a satellite-radio channel. She channeled her empathy into charity, starting numerous foundations and became the first African American to rank in the top 50 most generous Americans. Just as an aside, her net worth is estimated at $2.6 billion dollars.
That woman is Oprah. What does she credit as the biggest factor in her success? Self-awareness. “You can only do that if you know yourself. You can not do it unless you take the time to actually know who you are, and why you are here,” she said.
Okay, we know what you’re thinking: “Hold up—I’m no Oprah!” Of course, this is a massive success story. But the research consistently shows that people who master self-awareness are more creative, build stronger relationships, and are more effective leaders and communicators.
It’s also good for business: Companies with strong financial performance tend to have employees with higher levels of self-awareness than poorly performing companies, according to Korn Ferry International. (That last bit of research was for your boss, in case you need to prove the business case for why you’re spending time working on yourself).
What is self-awareness exactly?
In a nutshell, self-awareness is the ability to clearly and accurately see your personality, strengths and weaknesses, and behavioral tendencies, as well as how other people perceive you.
It’s a key component of emotional intelligence, which is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships. EQ has been shown to have a bigger impact on success than even IQ.
The good news is that self-awareness is a skill or habit that can be learned.
Your Brain On Self-Awareness
Organizational psychologist Dr. Tasha Eurich uncovered that there are two types of self-awareness—internal and external.
She defines internal self-awareness as “how clearly we see our own values, passions, aspirations, fit with our environment, reactions (including thoughts, feelings, behaviors, strengths, and weaknesses), and impact on others.”
She describes external self-awareness as “understanding how other people view us, in terms of those same factors listed above.”
To become fully self-aware, you must balance actively working on being able to clearly see yourself, as well as understanding how others see you.
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