Am I Desensitized to Crimes against Asian Women?

After his death, Celebrity Christian, Ravi Zacharias was evidenced to have opened spas in Atlanta, as well as frequenting Thailand, India, and Malaysia to sexually abuse women. For a hot second, I wondered why all the focus was on how such a holy man could be an adulterer, and not how vulnerable Asian women were being abused.

To be honest, anytime I experienced bias or discrimination, it was quickly explained to me that if I had acted more predictably, that this wouldn’t have happened. If someone behaved badly towards me, it’s because they were projecting their own insecurity. If someone demonstrates abusive behavior, it was because they were not shown love and abused themselves at some point. Culturally, I’m so conditioned to keeping things comfortable, that I’ve numbed my initial reactions the recent shootings at Atlanta day spas.

Of course, the young white man was having a bad day. It’s been a lifetime of accepting these explanations, and you know what being labeled “sensitive” does to a woman of color’s career. I didn’t even know why a white woman acquaintance would reach out to me first thing in the morning to ask if there was anything I needed. It took me a few exchanges to realize that I’ve been so desensitized to violence and discrimination against Asian women.

I explained that it’s taking time to process, because my reflex is to feel that crimes against Asians don’t count— that at first glance, this felt like a story about how a young man was having “a really bad day.” In the midst of how easily it was for a police officer to empathize with a mass shooter, I’m grateful for someone to empathize with me before I could even do it.

Here was my response: “I would like to counter offer that someday we get an in person meal when the opportunity lines up and our immune systems are up for it.”

she wrote back, “that'd be cool.”