Home Improvements—June

I don’t love a binary, but I do tend to think you’re someone who prefers to be a host, or prefers to be a guest. Which are you? For this month’s free and free-range post, let’s get into it. I’m decidedly Team Host. Maybe because I’m such a homebody. Or maybe because I feel more at ease caregiving than care-receiving. I’m working on this, though, as I announced to my husband recently: I am hoping to enter my spoiled rotten era any minute now. Surely my 50s will be the decade? But I digress.

I once heard a story of someone with a giant house who concocted elaborate, highly specific functions for all the many rooms in their house, purely so as not to appear to have any comfortable space available for guests. Ha! And we’ve all heard stories of guests who overstay their welcome. These are extreme ends of the spectrum, and no doubt there are also those who don’t wish to be either, thank you very much.

What does it mean to be hospitable? The Ancient Greeks famously observed elaborate rituals to greet and celebrate strangers who washed up on their shores (see: The Odyssey), involving feasts and epic storytelling; and the titled Brits with their grand old piles certainly have their codes of conduct (Plum Sykes is illuminating on this). In the U.S. we have a concept of Southern Hospitality, even if like me you never experienced it directly—porches and sweet tea and stop by? Right here, in 2026, when we are lacking civility and even accepted behavioral norms on a massive scale in our government and corporate leaders, we can and should look to wise gatherings experts like Priya Parker (I particularly love her Magical Questions that work with any group). And we’re also freed up to re-invent hospitality anew for ourselves.

With that self-sanctioned license, here are some thoughts on hospitality and hosting this summer. Easeful small moments of connection are the objective. Not extravagance or even event.

1. Set it and forget it. When we moved to the Hudson Valley from Brooklyn, the part of the house we worked on most was the guest room. We were lucky to have the space in the finished basement, and we knew we wanted friends and family to come stay, and comfortably so. Having a dedicated space for guests is a luxury that allows impromptu invitations as much of the labor in hosting can come from transforming a space used for something else into one they can settle into with some modicum of privacy.

Risking boldness here, but I believe there’s something inhospitable about requiring your guests to participate in the making of the bed they will sleep in after traveling from who knows where. I’ve done this, of course, particularly when there are many children to find spots for and air mattresses to unfurl. But even if you don’t have a dedicated space, I recommend having everything set up before guests arrive—space transformed, bed made, towels out, even a vase of flowers and a phone charger! This signals their journey is over, they are at home. The goal is easeful shared time, and this is not only gracious and welcoming, it will also make the arrival more relaxed for the host. A thoughtful gift to your guests, as well as future you!

2. Tiny Books! Beyond the charger and the flowers, I love a tiny book in the guest room or by the guest bed. You might leave an extra tooth brush in the bathroom for guests in case they forgot one, but what if they forgot reading material? Gasp! My inspiration for this is the tiny Bible in the bedside table drawer in a motel room. Currently in my guest room, I have this tiny edition of Clayton Christensen’s How Will You Measure Your Life (no pressure!), but the slim Wildsam guides are also elegant options (one for your area in case your guests yearn to set out on exploring expeditions of their own?)

3. Schedule Solitude. As an ambivert, this is key for me. Other people, even those I dearly love, often drain me (no offense guys!) I simply cannot spend an entire weekend making conversation. Solo time is encouraged! Make it explicit. Carve out times of the day when nothing is planned and nothing is expected. Find ways to sneak off for a dash of solitude. Everyone benefits.

4. Take a hike. When I moved to the Hudson Valley I was 43, so it was perfect timing for my social life to pivot from meeting friends for a meal at a restaurant to meeting friends for a hike with our dogs. I love everything about this. Nature, good views, good conversation, zero cost, and a clear end point! But really any group walk is fantastic, hiking boots not required. Whether you live in the city or the country, walks are various and interesting and allow a kind of cozy adult version of parallel play.

5. Play games. One of our most frequent houseguests is my mother, and though my children adore their Nonna, and she them, there is not a huge overlap in how almost-80-year-olds and teenage boys like to spend time. But Bananagrams is one such brilliant overlap (also the New York Times Word Games). Puzzles, board games, lawn games—having a shared activity and some friendly competition is a great move for inter-generational gatherings.

I’ll leave you with an easy itinerary (honestly mostly food—I think because I’m trained by teenage boys, and always worried my guests do not have enough snacks) for a summer day with guests in the Hudson Valley (spoiler alert for anyone coming to stay at my house this season):

Lazy breakfast: Table Bread from Sparrowbush; Creamed Honey from Forts Ferry Farm; eggs from Hearty Roots Farm.

A walk with the pups at Vlei Marsh. A long loop and a short loop, these scenic trails are part of the Winnakee Land Trust, and you just might spot a great blue heron, or a swan, depending on the season.

Lunch from Aba’s Falafel.

A sojourn to Rodger’s Book Barn.

Solo time to read!

A late afternoon trip to Montgomery Place Orchards Farmstand to procure dinner and ogle local fruits and veggies.

Grill dinner outside (steelhead trout from Hudson Valley Fisheries) while you play cornhole or croquet.

Caravan to Fortunes for ice cream for dessert.

Lightning round of Banagrams.

In bed by 10pm.