Never Negotiate Against Yourself

Nimesh Patel (quite a unique comedian) said this really well - “The price is never the price until you talk about the price.”

Read that again.

The price is never the price until you talk about the price.

This applies to everything. Your annual corporate SaaS subscription. The quote from the plumber. The “final” price from the car service center. The software development estimate. The bank’s CC renewal fees. Everything.

And yet. People just... accept it. I see this many times in younger or inexperienced folks who haven’t negotiated much till now.

Someone gets a quote. A number. An offer. And they just take it. No pushback. No conversation. No “hmm, can we do better?”

Just... “theek hai, chal.”

A plumber says ₹8,000 for a repair. Done. A SaaS vendor sends a renewal quote. Paid. The car service center says replace this part for ₹12,000. Replaced.

No questions asked. Literally.

But the worse version of this isn’t the people who don’t negotiate.

It’s the people who negotiate against themselves. In their own heads.

This is what it sounds like:

“I want to negotiate the renewal price but nobody decreases the prices year-over-year.”

“I want to ask them not to hike this year’s AMC but they would say a 15% annual hike is mentioned in our contract.”

“I want to give the candidate an increment of 10% over his current job but he might not accept because his travel costs will be higher”

“The car is making noise but the service centre would say it is functional noise, not an issue.”

“I want to ask for more scope in the project, but they might increase the delivery timeline by 10 days.”

BRO. How do YOU know what the other person will say?

You’re not a mind reader. You’re not the Oracle from The Matrix. You don’t have telepathy. You are literally making up a conversation in your head, losing that made-up conversation, and then acting on that imaginary loss.

Seedhe seedhe bolo - you talked yourself out of it. Nobody else did.

The worst part? The thing you’re afraid of - them saying no - is actually the best case worst case scenario.

Think about it. You ask. They say no.

That’s it. That’s the whole bad outcome. You’re back to where you already were. Nothing changed. Nothing got worse. You didn’t lose anything you already had.

But you MIGHT have gained something.

The downside is zero. The upside is real.

And yet people skip the ask entirely because they’ve already decided - on behalf of the other person, without consulting the other person - that the answer is no. Making the other person’s job easier. Why are you doing their work baba?

I’ll tell you what actually happens when you negotiate. From experience.

I’ve asked for more repairs to be included in the same quote. Got them.

I’ve pushed back on software development estimates and asked for more features in the same budget. Got them.

I’ve re-negotiated SaaS pricing. Got better deals.

I’ve made offers to candidates and had them counter. Accepted the counter when it made sense.

Did I get everything I asked for every time? No. Obviously not.

But here’s the thing that most people miss. The outcome of a negotiation is rarely “yes to everything” or “no to everything.”

It’s usually somewhere in the middle. And that middle is better than where you started.

Here’s the mental model that works for me.

First, the price. Get competing quotes for the same thing. Without it, you cannot have price discovery. You have no basis to negotiate. With competing prices, you can make the 2 quotes fight. Woh itne mein de raha hai.

More often than not, this will help you discover the differences in features or inclusions. If it is a purchase of a commodity or the exact same product, it’s easy.

In the case, you have just one vendor, you can try understanding why the price is what it is. “What is the hike driven by?”, “How many hours are you budgeting for testing and debugging?”. There could be something that you discover here that you don’t need or need less of, that could help in reducing the price.

Now, if the party can’t come down on price, even that’s fine. You can ask for more at the same price instead. More features. More quantity. Faster delivery. Extended warranty. Better payment terms.

Price is just one variable. There are always others.

But none of those alternatives even come into the picture if you’ve already surrendered in your own head before the conversation started.

I’m not saying be unreasonable. I’m not saying lowball everyone and haggle like you’re buying vegetables at the sabzi mandi.

I’m saying - try. That’s it. Just try.

Ask the question. Make the counter. State your budget. Say what you want.

The other person is an adult. They can say no. They won’t die. You won’t die. The relationship won’t end. The deal won’t collapse.

And more often than not, they’ll meet you somewhere in the middle. Because that’s how this works.

They can say no. That’s the worst that can happen. That’s also not that bad.

So next time you catch yourself building an argument in your head for why you shouldn’t ask for something - stop.

That’s you negotiating against yourself.

And you will always lose that negotiation. Because the opponent knows every single one of your weaknesses.

Be selfish if it matters to you. Try. What is the worst that can happen?

They can say no.

Bas.

P.S. If you’re reading this and thinking “but my situation is different” - it isn’t. You are once again,negotiating against yourself. 🫣