185 pounds! I laughed out loud standing on the scale of my OBGYN’s office. That was the biggest number I’d ever seen and it didn’t bother me at all.
You see, I was about to give birth to my double rainbow baby-my fourth baby, my first baby girl at nearly 44 years old.
If the scale had said 225 pounds, I would have giggled just the same.
Except 18 months of breastfeeding later, and at 153 pounds, I wasn’t giggling any more.
I felt droopy, sluggish, thighs rubbed so badly now that my hips had rotated back to their new spot (not where they were from “before kids” but where they go after pregnancy now).
I protected my milk supply like a nut ever since my first time when they told me I wasn’t producing enough. Eating intuitively AKA anything and everything I wanted was a part of that identity.
But now I was no long the breastfeeding mom. I was a 45 year old woman with 4 kids who wanted to wear tank tops and non stretch jeans while feeling like “me.”
Who is “me?”
What I mean by this is, after I had my fourth baby I was between an apple or upside down triangle shape. My whole life I've been a pear shape. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt very strange seeing this totally new silhouette.
Yes, you can be the person who embraces their new shape and says oh how grateful I am to have had children or be alive and have such an abundance of food in my life.
Well, I decided that I was going to be the person that says, “I'm just one of those people who got to have kids and then also gets to enjoy a body that she loves.”
I'm gonna be honest and after losing 25 pounds do you know what I say to myself now? “I'm the kind of person who has four kids and looks hot at 46.”
That takes some courage for me to put out there. I'm here to be really honest with you because that honesty what's going to help YOU breakthrough.
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I talk about things here that I don’t share anywhere else on the internet… Let’s begin!
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