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It’s been a while since I last walked into an indie cinema. A while, too, since I last gave myself over to the purity of art. Lately, I’ve felt that something has been missing from my life. Something soulful, maybe. Something that once felt quietly, unmistakably mine. I’ve been busy, with all the things I’m supposed to be busy with. Only after a dream last night did I realize how much time had…
again i wake up in the middle of the day try to fill out some imposter work four cups of black coffee the screen glows tabs open tabs close how many windows do i need how many models do i need how many calls do i need my eyes dry my eyes cry the cursor still blinking i can't see the shadow i can't see the contour i repeat myself my throat hurts i start to doubt the beginning it's painful to…
My updates stopped last October. I feel that my present is no longer the present. My now may have already become the past. Or perhaps I don’t need to explain it. This is my boundary with the present. In the past, my now was many people’s now. But it wasn’t only mine. I got lost in other people’s present, and couldn’t even tell whose now it was. So now, I want to remove my now page — a page that…
I lived in a neighborhood called Columbia Circle. I didn’t know the city. The street was quiet. There were trees, and small houses. There were many coffee shops. Too many. People sat there like they had nowhere else to go. Sometimes I stayed there alone. You could always see a few people like that. At the next table, people talked a lot. Their voices sounded confident, like they knew where they…
這是我為 2026 年 1 月 BlogBlog 同樂會「推坑」 主題寫的一篇文章。 我想推坑一種「與不同的人成為同學」的場景。 我知道這種場景大概很難複製，因為它需要非常具體的環境作為前提，但我還是很想寫寫這件事。 對我來說，前段時間每天必做的事，就是去上法語課。 在固定的時間出門，走進同一棟建築、同一間教室，坐在相同的位置，看見幾張慢慢變得熟悉的臉。週一到週五，早上八點半到下午三點半，我們都相聚在這個課堂裡，一起度過一天中最重要的幾個小時，一起學習新的事物。 那不只是學一門語言，而是一種日復一日的相處——慢慢知道誰又在上課時犯睏、誰每天需要喝好多咖啡，誰的文具最多、筆記最整齊，誰的法語最好，誰總是能在適當的時候逗大家笑，是班上的 comedian。也正是在這樣重複而具體的日常裡，我們和這些原本毫無交集的人，一點一點地成為了同學。 停止去上法語課之後，我陷入了一種說不上來的感傷。…
Today I had a phone call with my Best Buy package delivery, and it was honestly so hard to understand what he was saying. His English was really bad, and my French is just as bad. He was speaking really loudly and a bit roughly, maybe even a little rude, but I could tell it wasn’t his fault. I was trying so hard to understand him, and he was also trying his best to make me understand. He spoke…
As Christmas approaches, I always feel this strange anticipation—like I'm supposed to shed all the unpleasant things, all the negative feelings. But is that fair? Is it too much to ask of a single day? Maybe it's the stories we tell ourselves about this season that make everything feel more significant—the emotions sharper, the moments more memorable. But why? I was in Seoul during the Christmas…
I've been away from Shanghai for a long time now. In the beginning, I didn't feel like I'd really left, it was just a temporary absence, like I could go back anytime. But now it feels different. What happened there stays there. The memories, the streets, the moments, they belong to that place, to that time. Shanghai has become something I can revisit in my mind but can't quite touch anymore. It's…
On the MRT near the Erawan Shrine, there was a local man on a phone call, in the middle of the call, as he passed the shrine at a fast busy pace, he clamped the phone between his shoulder and ear, freed both hands to press them together in a wai, then picked up the phone again, all without breaking stride. I saw someone on social media complained about how boring Bangkok city is. I thought about…
Yesterday, I searched for a long time for a café, but nowhere could offer me the quiet I needed to empty my mind. My thoughts were chaotic, and my body felt weak. Work seemed endless, and I had no place to truly rest, no real space to unwind. I felt deeply unhappy, as if the cries within me were met with silence. That small part of me felt displaced, adrift. I know that if I continue like this,…