Boners from Degradation from Women?

Patrick Bateman from American Psycho played by Christian Bale

Sexuality is a very broad and diverse topic that has been going about more than ever in our modern culture.

I have seen more and more questions being asked, more and more advice being given, and it seems like it never ends. Don’t want to talk about politics? Seems like sex and sexuality is another topic to go into... if that interests you, of course.

The other day a friend of mine, David, asked me what it is about men loving and getting so turned on by women treating them like dirt and spending their money. He believed this would be a great topic to cover, since I vary on so many topics, including one of them being sex and sexuality.

Have we become a more sadist culture? Enjoying the pain, the mistreatment by others? Being degraded and thought of as worthless?

When did this become such a hot spot for boners?

Has feminism and girl power to do with this when they were taught in school? Or did their mother have a massive impact on their sexual desires, whether she punished them while they had their sexual attractions toward her (the Oedipus Complex)?

But letting a girl or girls spend money left and right and degrading the man is a turn-on? How could this be a sexual fantasy and urge?

It is obviously a psychologically-posing mystery.

Sex can’t function without the brain, and the brain is the most sexual part of our bodies, as the brain has the utmost capability to think and act on sexual fantasies, ideas, cravings, wants, desires, urges, etc. Without brains, we can’t express our sexual hormones, including one of them being the pheromone, which allures a potential sex partner into the foreplay and the resulting act to follow.

We need our sexual hormones to provide all the assistance to our sexual needs. We are a sexual species, as everything else. But we get the luxury of having sex without needing or wanting to reproduce, unlike most Earth species. And unlike most Earth species, we have our ways of spicing things up a bit to the point it is all psychologically intertwined with personal past experiences, disturbing or not.

Sadism seems to come from past disciplines as a child and/or teen. Something that is long lasting that influences the brain to make it a desirable pleasure, and/or sometimes a self-disciplinary personality. So many versions of sadisms too, just as there are so many versions of psychological disorders.

The Oedipus and Electra Complexes are common sexual psychological stages in the life of a young boy (Oedipus) and a young girl (Electra).

The Oedipus Complex is one where the young boy falls in love and sexual attachment to his own mother, often competing with his father mentally for her utmost affections and to provide a sense of protection. There is this perspective of how some men are selective to find a woman who resembles the most of their mother, by the ways of her physical looks and beauty, and sense of personality.

The Electra Complex is one where it is for the opposite sex - the young girl falling in love and sexually attached to her own father, and competing with her mother for his utmost affections and wanting to be desired. Some women too look for a distinct replica of her father as men do for the distinct replica of their mothers.

It is probably based on Charles Darwin’s perspective concerning natural selection. Where we are hardwired during our growth - physically, mentally, sexually - to know what is suitable to our own personal selections moving forward. We have this safety net where when we have good parents, who treat us well during all our years of growth, that we find someone just like them after we move out of the nest. A common conceptual perspective.

Women also have this mindset of viewing how the man they are with treats and behaves toward his own mother, to know exactly how well he treats women in general through that intimate family bond.

But of course, not all families are healthy, and not every parent is perfect. Some boys and girls from dysfunctional households attempt to try to find something much better than what they endured, or they are so attached to the dysfunction they’ve lived through, showing that that is all they know and they go out to find that similar life to fill that void they are missing, although they were best without it. This is like a drug addiction where you can’t help but feel empty without it, so you return to it... again, again, and again until it kills you or leaves you hopeless to your own choice of misfortune.

And if something happened during a young male’s and female’s sexual development, this can cause them to know what they know, what they like, to sexual use. Even when it’s a messed up or oddball scenario or idea, they don’t care. It fulfills them. A void that must be filled. Never empty, or else nothing else goes.

Fifty Shades of Grey expresses this plainly. I won’t write much about it so as not to spoil it. I know there is the 10-year rule that you have the right to spoil, but... Fifty Shades of Grey is one of few or many films that really express men who love the pain, to cause pain, before and during sexual intercourse, and that was due to his past experiences and relationships, including his quite complicated bond with his own mother.

Some foreign films follow the same kind of perspective and scenarios, including one man hiring a woman for sex who can degrade him, make him clean the room or the bathroom floors, naked in front of her, and her to bad and trash talk him as he does so. I don’t remember what this film was called, but it was one of the European films, as I recall.

American Psycho... Patrick Bateman loved to be the sadist and abuse women in the sexual sense that was very degrading and horrid, although this was all psychological. But his perspective and view toward women in general was very much degrading in its own way. A very dark way, indeed. So far as to control his fiance (played by Reese Witherspoon) and trying to encourage her to get a boob job, and toward his own secretary of what she should and should not wear in his office.

Probably the typical male ego of Wall Street and other such industries.

But his degradation toward women, in my fair opinion, seems to reflect on his own relationship with his mother and/or how his own father treated her. That’s my opinion. His objectifying of women seems more a masculine ego thing taught either by his father (who, is briefly mentioned only once by Reese Witherspoon’s character as someone who had Patrick in his business, which makes me believe that Patrick didn’t have his own business to boast about and has been riding on his father’s own coattails to get to where he is), or other male peers in his inner circle. A psychological passing down, in every possibility in Patrick Bateman’s case.

There is so much to psychologically take from American Psycho. So many interpretations. So many views. So many perspectives, in a very deep and broad sense. I can talk about American Psycho for hours or days or weeks, and watch that film so many times through so many open angles to find anything that can spark a different perspective and/or idea of Patrick Bateman’s being in every psychological light.

I have yet to finish the novel of the same title by Brett Ellis that is supposedly more graphic than the film. And I will always say that American Psycho, as dark and surprising and shocking and thrilling of a film as it is, was directed phenomenally well by a woman, Mary Harron.

I’m sure there is more from the novel that I can pick up that is not expressed in the film. I always love a good psychological trip down Bateman Street...

Do we share with the world such sexual natures to sexualize and broaden them, or to show the world that we’ve come this far of the sexual experience where it can reveal psychological dysfunction to the fullest light?

Perhaps both.

But this is something that can always be dug deeper and deeper into psychoanalysis and everything to do with the human mind and how it operates to such intriguing routes of extreme sexual desires, experiences, etc. combined with personal experiences, relationships, trauma, etc.

And we cannot forget about the plethora of negative influences concerning pornography. Violent imageries, especially sexually, - online or real life - can burn deep into a child’s or teen’s memory, and they begin to utilize and enforce such influences onto their real life personal and/or sexual routines as it is what they know from what they’ve seen and consumed. There are very violent sexual pornos that exist that can either provide a young girl and boy with sexual trauma or sexual education to bring to their tables. And that can be very troublesome, unless they find someone who shares and can feed and partake on such behaviors and desires and actions.

Sometimes there are these scenarios of degradations and S&M and r*pe expressed through pornographic content. All that can be mental influences. It’s why porn should be under lock and key from children of all ages to protect them from such negative influences that can strongly negatively impact their own lives, sexual or not.

And of course, if you’re in college and surrounded by peer pressures by people with other influences that can be warped and negative, they can overcome your innocence as you become more highly explorative, while possessing your newly found freedoms to do so. Whether involving sex and drugs and bad rebellions, college life is a vicious beast machine of its own, as much as it is your doorway to something bigger in your life. If you thought high school can make a young person go rock bottom (which it can with the same issues with negative peer pressures), college is a whole other animal. And it can be scary as much as exciting.

Of course, there is nothing wrong with being adventurous. But sometimes - not all times though - that can have a price to pay in psychological terms. You just have to be careful of your associations and have had all the good and right influences in all the years prior to this big milestone to steer you away from the trouble that college can also bring, along with its good life-changing benefits.

There is a lot of contributions to shocking, strange, and/or disturbing sexual desires, fantasies, and urges. It’s basically all a psychological trip, because sex is also psychological.

Thank you for reading this article! This is one of many topics I cover and I found this very fun to write up and share to the world. Thank you, David, for the request!

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