DATELINE: No. 1 Observatory Circle, Washington, D.C., official residence of the Vice President of the United States.
J.D. Vance: Hi Usha! I’m home! Sorry I’m late. Marco wanted to grab a bro beer after work and I’m a bro soooooo ...
Usha (steely): No one thinks you’re a bro. Also, your moron boss just posted the first picture of OUR newborn. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM??
J.D.: Oh, yeah, that. I knew you were going to go all hormonal when you saw that. Babe, he’s just excited for our family to expand!
Usha: Even every inbred hillbilly in your (blech) “holler” knows you don’t post a first picture of anybody else’s baby. EVER!!!! I know he’s a boor and everything always has to be about him, but this is the worst!
J.D.: Babe, the worst? Seriously? Worse than the whole made up war thing? Worse than innocent people being killed by untrained and (spins finger at temple) cuckoo ICE agents who think they’re living inside a video game? C’mon. Fix me a drink (tries to slap her ass).
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