Reading · HELLACIOUS HEALING BLUES

Prelude
One warm Autumn morning I wandered outside to look for you. I looked all morning as dread settled in my heart, the sun beating down a dark harsh reality. I hadn’t even given you a name yet…
The Coyotes were rampant on that mountainous land around the house where I had rented an upstairs room from a woman Gizela, and one could ‘only assume’ as the hours passed.
I had recently ended a 21 year marriage and so I was raw, shredded and aching from bone to skin and then…. you had appeared, a little white fluff of love
I fell desperately hard into your soft trusting innocence… the kind I had ‘with him’ when we were first married at 18….
The pain of losing you intermingled and got twisted in with the pain of ‘him…. ‘
My wailing echoed around the mountains and down into the canyons as I sat on the porch… tears scorching my already burning soul..
A week later or so, you sent me this…..

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I came to show you the fleeting transition of innocence
as you held me so close to your chest
Before I had time to grow up
have personality, attitude,
aches, desire, needs
distractions, illusions
I came to remind you of your depth
and that wide eyed beauty without boundaries….
without that non-trusting film that forms over the eyes
with time and survival
I came to have you hold, and feel, and know this,
remember this…
inside yourself
My little life was complete when I left this world
from the warmth of your precious hands cradling me...
cradling me...
   into your broken heart

2004/2025

A Little White Fluff of Love

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