Over the past 4 years there are a few DMs and questions I get over and over and over.
Like universal toddler-ness behavior that ever. single. mom is dealing with.
(Which actually always makes me feel better to know that no matter what, all of us have toddlers that screech in their loudest voice the second you get the baby to sleep, or randomly decide to chuck a toy across the room for absolutely no reason whatsoever).
🤩 This is one of those things that is so simple when you say it out loud, but actually is going to be insanely impactful for you when you are parenting a little kid.
And it almost feels like when you hear it, well, duh, of course we should be doing that.
But then you look at your day to day and your life when you have a toddler or multiple little kids and you’re working, or you’re a stay at home mom, you’re running around, you’re cleaning the house and you’re doing all of the things, you’re managing everything.
Here’s the shift I want you to embody:
I had this exact conversation with a private client last week. Her almost 4yo was melting down over every single transition: bath time, breakfast, getting out the door, you name it.
She asked me the question every mom asks: “What consequence do I use? What punishment actually works?”
→ My answer, every time: that’s not where the learning happens.
The learning happens before the meltdown. Not during it. Not after.
In fact, if you’re an OG follower (yay, hi, so glad you’re still here!!!) and have my Toddler Tantrums Guide, this is the exact framework that’s been in since day one in my 3 part framework, which is Prep, In the Moment, Teach.
It’s simple. It’s kind of annoyingly obvious once you hear it. And it works whether your kid is 18 months or 7 years old.
I’m going to literally break it down, what this means, specific examples and how you can do it today. And I don’t mean that in just a wishy washy “be happier and give your toddler choices!!!” sort of way.
Upgrading to paid for less than the price of a new Yoto card 👉 because here's the deal… I could keep giving you the surface-level stuff or 2min version in a TikTok video, but that's the part you probably already knows. The actual how, that’s what I’m sharing below.
The real difference between being proactive and reactive — and why “what consequence do I use?” is almost always the wrong question
The exact game I use to practice a transition before it turns into a meltdown, not during
The Janet Lansbury approach I’ve been using since my oldest was a toddler, so I’m not just reacting to chaos all day
Why being proactive has to include you, not just your kid — and the 2-minute thing I do before I’m already about to lose it
How to pick ONE thing to be proactive about this week instead of trying to fix your entire parenting overnight
The moment this week at the bike park where I realized I was being reactive 🫠 — and what I did differently the next time
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