The Drama - A movie we all needed

I am notorious for taking my family to movies and plays I know nothing about. Most of the time, it ends up fine, with everyone having a good time, even if my only child has been exposed to more mature content that he would have been otherwise. I saw the trailer for The Drama at our local theater and declared, as I do with all the trailers, that I wanted to see it. The night I went to see it, my husband and kid opted out in favor of D&D; so a friend and I went. She looked up what it was about before we got there. “A happily engaged couple whose relationship is tested by an unexpected revelation during the week before their wedding.” She warned me that the unexpected revelation was that she had planned a school shooting. This is not a spoiler.

I am so glad The Drama exists. It is one of those beautiful movies that uses subtly to hit you over the head with the message. It’s so heartfelt and charming and funny. And more importantly, relevant. School shootings are in the news all the time, and of course, kids sit through active shooter drills as often as fire drills. But as the movie points out, if shootings happen as often as they do, how many people have thought about them but not followed through?

When my kid was in middle school, he had a friend who said they had a plan and access to a gun. They said this to a school councilor. They has written the councilor a letter because they weren’t doing well. They felt bullied and had thought about hurting themselves and others. The kid was taken to a hospital for suicide watch, and then their parents sent them out of state to a school for troubled kids. The thing is, much like Zendaya’s character, this kid wasn’t capital “T” “Troubled.” At least not in a way that requires a special school. They were depressed and had social anxiety from a severe storm that upended their life and was never processed through. They are a good kid, with supportive parents, ample resources, and too-high self standards. They would never have followed through, not only because they didn’t actually have access to a gun, but also because they are such a rule follower. They literally turned themselves in. This is a child with empathy, like Emma in the movie.

In college we said everyone gets kicked in the head. Call it trauma, chemical imbalance, adolescence, whatever, life is hard. And sometimes to get the help we need we cry out. When no one hears us, we feel we must do something drastic to get the attention we need. Some people drink, do drugs, “act out.” Others shut down, attempt suicide, plan mass shootings. For all the shootings that do happen, how many don’t? How many people get the help they need, or work through their stuff, or come to their senses before they follow through? The thing about getting kicked in the head, we said, is that if you can get to the other side we become empathetic people. We understand what pain feels like, what it can drive us to. We can recognize it in other people. We can get down in the hole with them, rather than just staring at them, pitying and judging from above.

I am glad this movie exists so that when my kid’s friend sees it, they know they are not alone and didn’t actually do anything wrong. I am glad this movie exists for all the people who were so desperate they held horrible thoughts in their heads. I am glad this movie exists for all the people who can’t find empathy for people who are struggling. Because this movie is not about a girl who once plotted a Schoo shooting. It’s about empathy. And we all need to both and give and receive more empathy.