this is the post I didn't know I needed to write until I wrote it — and of course it's happening on the most powerful eclipse of the year 🌑

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first I just want to say hiiiiii!!! to all my new paid (and free!) subscribers. I can’t even tell you how thrilled I am to have you here!!! like truly, watching all the notifications roll in on Sunday gave me so much creative energy that I just had to come here and write up a little bonus paid post for you because maybe you’re feeling this eclipse energy too? as per usual, let’s drop right into it ;)

so I wake up the morning we are having movers arrive to pack up the house we’ve called home for the last seven years almost exactly. and not 30 seconds later the smoke alarm starts chirping. at first I think I must have heard wrong and then a minute later I hear another CHIRP. and then it starts to sound like, CHIRP it’s time to go CHIRP you’ve outgrown this place CHIRP it’s time to leave all this old shit behind. yes, we are getting woo woo today, strap in for the ride!!

some people might see it as a bad omen but there has been some seriously ridiculous shit happening in my personal life that I can only chalk up to the universe sending me clear ass signals that moving is the best thing for me. and then the timing of the back up battery dying in the smoke alarms feels comically on point. like it’s shouting “your back up plan is dead. no more plan B, get going on plan A!”

and I can feel it in my body too. my tolerance for bullshit is lower. I’m not willing to compromise myself or leave things unsaid. I haven’t stood up for myself in years, always available for being someone’s doormat in order to not make anyone uncomfortable. that part of me is dying and it’s not woo woo at all. I don’t know how to explain it but I can feel the relief of dead weight being dissolved.

this era of me staying small, keeping quiet, avoiding confrontation to keep everyone comfortable is dead. it’s giving what my close personal friends Taylor Swift, once said “Think of your energy as if it’s expensive. As if it’s like a luxury item. Not everyone can afford it.” which funny enough, it’s almost one year ago exactly she said those words when she blessed with an two hour interview on the New Heights podcast.

it’s feeling less like a reinvention and more like just clearing out junk I don’t need anymore. I don’t feel like I’m rebuilding anymore. I feel like I’m simplifying. everything is becoming more clear. things are making sense again. I am remembering who the fuck I actually am.

and of course it’s all falling around the start of eclipse season. and of course we are literally moving houses on the eclipse. and of course the eclipse is happening in my 12th house which is all about endings, closure, the edge of what’s next.

so what is next now that the old me is dead and gone? or at least my old self sacrificing patterns are gone and dead now. what do I actually want to be known for?