This is a free preview paid content on That Mom. That Mom is a paid community for mothers who are done waiting to enjoy their lives. For $8/month, you get every essay, guide, and reflection — plus a room full of women who get it. No sponsors. No noise. No guilt.
okay so I've been a little quiet over here and I owe you the real version of why. not the "life got busy" version. the actual version.
here it is: I closed three doors in the same season and I’m still in the freefall of all of it.
door one. I decided I’m done having babies. which sounds like a normal adult decision until you’ve been pregnant or nursing or chasing a toddler basically every single year since 2018 and suddenly that chapter is just... over. I wrote a whole post about this one because it deserved it. but the short version is that closing that door has made me realize I have absolutely no idea who I am without it. like zero idea. and that’s equally terrifying and exciting and I’m not going to pretend otherwise.
door two. I built and ran my own business for 8 years and closed it all down a year ago.
door three. we have decided to sell the house we’ve renovated every inch of over the last seven years and not only buy a new house but we are totally changing our entire lifestyle.
I know. I KNOW.
I’m not in crisis. I want to be clear about that especially seeing as my last post was about my panic attack -ha. I’m in that very specific in-between where everything you were is behind you and everything you’re becoming feels a little bit like walking around your own life with a blindfold on. there has been so much stumbling over here. and instead of sitting around waiting to have everything figured out before I come back here, I decided the move was to write through it. on Substack. with all of you.
because here’s what I do know. after eight years of motherhood and fifteen years of career pivots and building things and quitting things, I know exactly what I don’t want anymore. and that is actually so much more useful than it sounds.
as a mother, I know what I’m not willing to sacrifice anymore. my kids are my priority and I want to be available to help at their classroom party. be home and present when they get off the bus. I don’t want to have move meeting around so I can go do something with my kid. (not saying anything else is wrong, by the way!!) but I need the freedom to show as the mom I want to be and that much I know I want to build my life around.
but also, now that I’m done with the intense cycle of pregnancy, birth and babies, I’m also ready to reclaim myself in a way I haven’t done in a decade. and it feels just as overwhelming as becoming a new mom in the first place.
once upon a teenage time my dream job was writing for a major magazine in New York City. and then it shifted towards brand marketing eventually towards a very specific brand in New York City and I worked my butt off to get there. I had my dream job straight out of college and went onto work for other incredible major companies, I even turned down a salary of $95k at 27 years old to go start my own business.
and then I did that and my business shifted and change with each pregnancy I had eventually leading me to shut it all down last year when my youngest was 7 months old and I was laying on the bathroom floor with all three of my kids (we all have Norovirus) and I thought to myself “how the hell am I going to run a business like this?” I had no family nearby, nannies have never worked out for us and I just knew I had to shut it down.
but now I will have more capacity to create more and execute more. and trust me I am not rushing into adding business owner back to my title anytime soon. this time I am going so, so slow. I know all the ways I don’t want to run a business.
I know I don’t want employees. I don’t want to answer to clients. I don’t want SEO strategies and email funnels even though I was really so good at those things for a time!! I don’t want to be marketing myself at 10pm on a Tuesday. I don’t want to pay for a website, a web host, an invoicing platform, and a scheduling tool - I want simpler than that.
so what’s left when you strip all of that away?
writing. it’s always been writing. through every version of my career - PR, photography, social media, business coaching, fractional CMO — writing was the thread. it’s the one thing I’ve never had to try at. the one thing that comes out like a waterfall whether I’m ready or not. the thing I assumed everyone could just do until I realized, oh. this my thing.
and because life is chaotic and symbolic at the exact same time, I’m about to close on a new house that needs a full renovation. a 2002 builder grade house that needs basically everything updated. and I have to tell you that buying this house and changing our lifestyle pretty drastically feels like opening a portal. I can’t explain it but buying this house at this specific moment in time feels like I’m about to jump timelines and it feels really, really exciting.
so yes. I’m about to be spending most of my time renovating a house. and figuring out who I am if I’m not getting pregnant again right now. I’m building something new out of everything I’ve already learned the hard way. and That Mom is where I’m going to be writing all of it down.
I love being a mom so much. It’s truly my favorite thing. but there are other favorite parts of myself I have. ones that have sat in quiet corners collecting dust and cobwebs and I’m finally ready to tend to those favorite parts of me again before they get too forgotten ya know?
I feel like the moms know. I’ve slowly forgotten how it feels to have the space to want things just for me. because it’s been a long time since I’ve had the space to dream big and remember. and so it feels foreign, but that stops now. today.
this isn’t a new newsletter. it’s a new chapter of this one. and I think it’s going to be the best one yet.
I have one question for you before I go, is there a door have you closed recently that you haven’t fully talked about yet? reply and tell me. I actually want to know.
you'll never hear me say I don't have time as a mom of 3
·
Apr 23
This is a free preview paid content on That Mom. That Mom is a paid community for mothers who are done waiting to enjoy their lives. For $8/month, you get every essay, guide, and reflection — plus a room full of women who get it. No sponsors. No noise. No guilt.
call me a quitter, less really is more
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Apr 15
This is a free preview paid content on That Mom. That Mom is a paid community for mothers who are done waiting to enjoy their lives. For $8/month, you get every essay, guide, and reflection — plus a room full of women who get it. No sponsors. No noise. No guilt.
losing yourself in motherhood needs a rebrand 🆕
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Jan 23
This is a free preview of my Thursday paid issue of That Mom. For $6/month, you'll get full access to all posts, including essays, practical guides, deep-dive reflections, and community support for moms building intentional lives—with no sponsors, no noise, and no mom guilt.
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