Storytime

What story are you telling about your life?

How we frame our experiences has a huge impact on the way we feel and ultimately forms the identity we share with the world 🌎. More importantly though, the meaning we place upon our experiences will be a deciding factor in how we feel about them. We can see the cup half-empty or half-full, though so often we believe we are the victim of circumstance - that we have no power over what happens both in and around us. Yet the opposite is what’s really true! We have more power than we understand because our inner world creates our outer world 🌎.

Everything we think and believe about who we are impacts how we speak about ourself and how we show up in the world today. Our childhood conditioning has much to do with how we have developed our identity. If we have been put down - given negative messages - neglected - abandoned or controlled - all of these messages continue to reside within our psyche until we learn to recognise them and change our ‘inner script’.

This may sound prescriptive but it is not that simple in real terms. Most of what we have learned about who we are is subconscious- the messages that play over and over in our head, that cause us to react and respond in ways that sabotage our growth in all our intimate relationships - with our family- our friends and those we love. It’s easy to blame our parents or caregivers for this dysfunction, but the truth is it affects everyone to some degree because noone has ever been, or had, the perfect parent - there is no such thing! We are all doing the best we can with what we understand now.

The good news is that once we recognise our patterns we CAN change them! The first step is seeing how we show up in all our relating - and joining the dots to create a clear picture of what we would prefer - rather than continuing to believe we must stay STUCK in the pattern, continuously sabotaging ourself.

It is the MEANING we place upon all the events we experience- both past and present- that will shape our reactions and responses. If we see ourself as ‘less than’ others we will behave in ways that support that meaning. Conversely if we see ourself as ‘more than’ others we will behave accordingly. Both are learned patterns - and both create dysfunction in our relating.

Early childhood conditioning may produce our attachment styles - but they need not become a self-fulfilling prophecy! Self-awareness is the beginning of freedom. We can change, we can learn new ways, we can turn things around - we don’t have to stay stuck!

If this sounds like you, and you are committed to becoming free from the unhealed patterns of your childhood conditioning- then I recommend reaching out to a therapist who can guide you through making sense of your attachment style and working towards fulfilling positive change. You are never too old (or too young) to begin this work on yourself.

There is no such thing as a hopeless case! You can begin today - even in small ways - and create change that with lead you into a more successful experience in all your relationships. This will impact your work life, your family, your friends and your partner - but the work will be yours. We cannot change the world around us - but we can change the meaning we place on it. We can be the blessing 🙌 in someone else’s experience of life. We can be our authentic self and ultimately free.

I wish you all every blessing on your journey to wholeness - one small step today can change all your tomorrows.

Much love Carole X

(Ps. Apologies for the late arrival of this post 📫 🙏 I’ve being busy processing my own stuff 🙃🤪