We don't need to be so divisive

Don’t tell Vince but on my days off sometimes I have a little affair with a llama called Quinn.

It might sound funny but in the Camelid world it seems many people are either camp alpaca or camp llama. I am very much in both camps. I hope one day to have my own llamas.

A conversation I had with an elderly llama farmer recently where she told me how much she hated alpacas reminded me of the way people used to interact with me about yoga when I worked at a Pilates studio. Most people went to both classes and enjoyed the benefits of both but every now and then I would receive unsolicited feedback about how wrong we were getting it in yoga.

‘You’ve all got long hamstrings and flat bums.’

‘You’re breathing wrong’

‘Yoga is so serious’

I know many perfectly rounded yoga bums and most of my yoga teacher friends have tight hamstrings.

There are different breath approaches for different reasons in yoga. Bloody hundreds of them. And yes sometimes we breathe into the belly. Diaphragmatic (belly) breathing is super helpful if you’re a stressed out, highly strung, anxiety head (which most people coming to yoga are - myself included). Pilates breathing is great for keeping your organs in place. I use it for postpartum mums all the time.

Yoga can be very serious. I’ve enjoyed many a serious yoga class (and facilitated many too). But it can also be very fun and lighthearted and I’ve enjoyed (and offered) a good many of those sorts too.

Because not everything is black and white.

Nuance and context is everything.

There’s a place and a time for it all.

So when people ask me whether I prefer alpacas or llamas I tell them the reason I love them both for different reasons.

It’s all been good practice for becoming a home ed mum one of the most divisive areas of life going.

I’ve heard every single reason why I shouldn’t home ed my kid and why school is best.

School can be great for kids, I agree. My school years were some of my best. I escaped from an abusive home to a private boarding school in the woods where I got to live with my besties and got to take my pets. It was dreamy.

But I also did much better academically when I was home educated (or rather when I educated myself with help from my foster parents, friends and wonderfully kind and generous rule breaking teachers).

Nuance and context.

Not all school experiences are like this. Some children do much better at home with their families and in their communities.

There is no right way just the right way for us.

Nuance and context. Personal experience.

We also tend to forget that school is not the global norm and sometimes when build schools for developing communities we tear them apart.

We don’t need to be so divisive.

A few years ago I made a decision to try not to engage with outrage culture on the internet and to catch myself whenever I felt called to write something from a place of criticism and outrage.

Critical thinking is an important skill and one I’ve had to learn from my husband. My daughter has already got it at age 4 which is such a gift.

(Don’t trust them mummy, Waitrose said the clementines were easy peelers and they weren’t! They were tricky peelers!).

But I believe critical thinking needs to be paired with collaborative ways of being.

It’s easy to be critical, judgemental and competitive. It’s our culture’s standard. It’s less easy to be open minded, accepting and collaborative.

Signing off from a yoga teacher who likes to practice Pilates, an alpaca shepherdess who’s in love with a llama and a home ed mum who loved school.

Carly x