This Mindset Takes You From 0 to Spiralling in 5 Seconds

There’s a mental pattern that can take you from calm to spiralling in seconds.

It’s called absolute thinking.

This is when the mind starts using extreme language like “always” “never” “everyone” or “nobody” especially when you’re triggered. One difficult moment becomes “this always happens” and one mistake becomes “I always get it wrong”

In that state, your perspective narrows and it is so easy to act out of character, lose yourself, and get into a state of panic/jealousy/anger.

the problem, is it feels like a fact. And that’s exactly what makes it so destabilising.

HERE ARE SOME EXAMPLES:
- “I always mess everything up”
- “Nobody ever listens to me”
- “I’ll never be good enough”
- “Everyone thinks I’m stupid”
- “Nothing ever works out for me”

When I work with people, I actively look for this shift. I name it when it shows up, and we slow it down (not to argue with it, but to understand what part of them is holding onto it so tightly). Because underneath that kind of thinking is usually something more vulnerable trying to be protected.

A simple practice you can start using right away is this:

When you notice words like “always” or “never,” pause and ask, “Is this 100% true?”

If it isn’t absolutely true, remove the extreme language and restate it in a way that reflects reality more accurately and flexibly. This small shift is often enough to create space again - space to think, respond, and choose differently.

There’s way too much noise out there suggesting you need deep, intense, body-based work to change this, when often the shift starts much more simply - with noticing absolute language like “always” or “never” in real time and correcting it into something more accurate

By the way, if you want to deep dive into core wounds with me, definitely learn more about Single Session Therapy HERE - I have four sessions open per month

Carly Ann 🤎

P.s. Join my Bonus Lessons in Self-Worth Telegram