The deal announcement is out, and I’m thrilled to share that my next book, Can’t Put It Down: Our Everyday Addictions and the Search for Self-Control, will be published by Simon & Schuster’s Atria imprint. I am deeply grateful that I get to write this, and I’m looking forward to exploring the topic during the coming months.
The book will explore the phenomenon of losing control: why we so often succumb to our worst impulses, and how to take back control in a world where seemingly everything is designed to addict us. I’ll be telling this story through the lens of addiction, using examples of everyday addictions, from traditional ones like gaming and gambling, to anxiety, political radicalization, and even the addictive pull of identity and the self. Drawing on neuroscience, psychotherapy, philosophy, and other disciplines, my aspiration is to reframe the conversation around self-control and addiction—in particular, to illustrate how what we call self-control is a complex phenomenon shaped not only by neuroscience but also by our relationships, culture, and values. And, I want to point the way toward ways of understanding that are useful.
I’m writing this with three main groups of people in mind—all of whom have energized and informed my work since I wrote The Urge:
People concerned about their habits and behaviors—both those who clearly have a life-disrupting addiction, and the vast middle ground who wonder what is happening to them and are not sure how to make sense of it,
Clinicians, family members, and other helpers, and
People in recovery who still ask, Why do I feel out of control even in sobriety?
Of course, as regular readers know, I belong to all three groups myself!
The questions surrounding losing control are some of the most profound, urgent and fascinating ones we face in psychiatry, philosophy, and recovery. In a way, control is the whole story—if you’re truly out of control, no meaningful change is possible. So I’m excited to unpack this topic and to get past the surface-level understanding, down to where more nuanced yet pragmatic insights are found. What are we really losing when we lose control? What kinds of control are actually possible—and what kind of freedom is worth wanting? What illusions do we need to shed to arrive at authentic and useful varieties of freedom and control?
I’ll be sharing more about the process and the ideas I’m exploring here on this newsletter in the coming months. It won’t be all about the book, all the time, but I am looking forward to sharing at least some posts as a laboratory for thinking in process, and especially to get your reactions. Thank you for being here. I’d welcome all of your thoughts and questions. They help me immensely to focus on what matters most.
In other news, I’ve been on a string of great podcasts recently:
The Emotional Sobriety podcast - Sunshine in the Rat Park with Dr. Carl Erik Fisher
Nina’s Notes:
Perennial Wisdom:
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