This is For The Firsts, a weekly letter for the “firsts” navigating career, money & life without a roadmap. Let’s get to work.
A good friend of mine called me the other evening to talk about where they were at in their career. We’ve known each other for a while, and, given everything they do at their job, they were feeling fed up with where they were at professionally. And as he started to lay it all out, I could definitely see why.
For all intents and purposes, they did everything right:
Spent 18 years at a small, prestigious private school
Double majored in business at a top state university
Spent the better part of a decade climbing the corporate ladder in NYC
Raised his hand for every special initiative or “high-vis” opportunity
Well-liked by leadership and has a reputation as a team player
But after nearly 8 years at a large firm in his industry (collecting promotions and modest pay raises), he was beginning to worry about something that’s hard to say out loud:
Was he actually moving forward in his career? Or was the title just getting bigger while the career underneath it stayed exactly where it was?
Here’s the trap that almost nobody warns you about:
A new title feels like progress.
A fresh email signature. A congratulatory email from the executive team or partnership. The perfect opportunity for a LinkedIn update! For a few moments, that title genuinely feels like the ladder is moving in your favor.
But a title is just a label. And a label can be swapped out while the thing underneath it stays exactly the same.
You can get “promoted” three times and be doing the same work you were doing five years ago (just more of it). You can add Senior or Lead to your name and never once expand beyond what you’re actually capable of. You can be the most well-liked person in the building and still feel stuck.
It’s motion without progress. And ‘firsts’ fall for it most often.
When you’re the first in your family to walk into these career paths, a title isn’t just a job description. It’s evidence. Proof that the leap worked. Proof that the student loan debt and the distance from home were actually worth it.
It’s proof we’re on the right path. So we hold onto these titles a little tighter than most.
But here’s the uncomfortable truth I had to say to my friend: a title can never truly be yours. Because it’s given to you by the company you work for.
A title is the story your company tells you about your professional worth. But it’s not the whole picture.
And when you let your idea of self-worth, or professional value, get too tied up in the title given (read: rented) to you by something or someone else - you’re giving that thing the power to define who you are.
If you’re worried about something similar in your career, here’s a checklist you can run through:
1. Capability: Can you do more than you could three years ago, or just manage more of the same? The reward for great work is often more work. But that’s not always what you need to expand your skillset.
2. Currency: Would the market pay you more, or just this employer? A truly growing career raises your value everywhere, not just at the company that already has you. Don’t fall for the comfortability trap.
3. Connection: I’ve said it before: skills may pay the bills, but relationships will make you rich. If your title went up but your rolodex didn’t, you’ve been growing in silence.
If your title is growing but these aren’t - that’s your signal to pay more attention.
What's a "first" you've done, or one you're working toward right now?
Writing a book and having it published.
What's something you're a little obsessed with lately?
Doing banana bread out of the bananas I haven’t eaten for my training.
What’s something you’re working on right now that you’re excited about? (Remember, no job titles)
A magazine about cocktails and the gastronomic offer of Ecuador.
‘First Up’ is our member spotlight series, highlighting the many incredible members of the FTF community. Want to be featured in a future spotlight? Fill out this form.
Before you grab that new linen shirt.. let’s talk numbers.
Many of the creators you see at Cannes Lions paid their own way to be there. They may leverage relationships to land sponsorships or speaking fees, but it’s rare that your dream brand lands in your inbox with a five-figure offer to attend.
What It Actually Costs:
Creator Pass: $1,500
Flight: $2,500
AirBnB: $1,500
Clothing & essentials: $1,000
Meals and drinks: $300
TOTAL: $6,800 (can go as high as $15k+)
For context: My first year of content, I made $300.
If Cannes is on your vision board, you’re going to have to get serious about turning your content into a real business.
That’s why I use Relay
I use Relay for all my business banking. Because when you’re dropping $6,800 on a trip, clarity on your cash is everything. Relay makes it super easy to track expenses in real time (don’t ask me how much I spent on pastries last year), and it gives me a complete picture of what I’m making (and spending).
Relay is a financial technology company and is not an FDIC-insured bank. Banking services provided by Thread Bank, Member FDIC.
Our next For The Firsts meetup is in July! You can register here.
Creator Economy NYC → July Mixer & Panel
These are affiliate links, but they’re genuinely the tools I rely on everyday
ManyChat helps me send all of my free and low-priced career guides to you all on Instagram and TikTok.
Claude Cowork keeps my desktop organized and helps my conduct research for my content.
Kit is the platform I use for email automation. It’s also where I send out my free Networking course! (comment “Networking” on any of my IG Reels)
Luma is the best event hosting platform I could ask for, and the official home of our community, For The Firsts.
read previous notes here
register for my next For The Firsts event here
host your own community events in NYC and Chicago at Fabrik
have me speak at your organization by filling out my speaker form
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