There’s this weird thing about time that I can’t stop noticing lately. How some seasons of life seem to stretch, and others disappear in a blink. I lived in New York for three months at the end of college, and it felt like years. Phoebe graduated from middle school last week, and I swear I just dropped her off at new student orientation as a 6th grader.
A couple years ago, I read Four Thousand Weeks, where Oliver Burkeman writes about how novelty is the thing that stretches our experience of life—how new experiences create richer memories, making time feel fuller and slower. So it makes sense that these first two weeks of June have felt more expansive than any I can remember in a long time.
We’re in a new town, with new neighbors, getting our bearings in a place where we’d only ever been visitors in the past. These weeks have stretched out—and in a season of life that usually moves like lightning, it’s reminded me that even if I can’t slow down time, I can choose to live in a way that makes it feel a little less fleeting.
So, here’s what’s been happening around here.
After almost six years of planning, permitting, and construction (and hearing “supply chain issues” and “waiting on permits” more times than they should ever be said), we moved our stuff into the beach house.
When I look back on it, the weeks leading up to this point were a lot. Planning the million details of the move-in while traveling between Austin and Malibu for construction meetings. And right in the middle of it all, Phoebe graduated from middle school, and Henry graduated from the elementary school that’s been such a part of our family’s life for ten years. I honestly wasn’t prepared for the emotions that came up—I was a puddle of tears all day. The next morning, we flew to Malibu (Adam did the full 24-hour road trip with Charlie), and the week that followed was a complete swirl: boxes everywhere, the house still feeling like a total construction zone, and no gas (ie, no hot water or ability to wash our clothes) for the first ten days. I’ve never wanted a hot shower so badly in my life.
But even in the midst of the chaos, the exhaustion, the countless things to figure out—arriving at the beach gave me an immediate, almost physical sense of peace. Which also showed me how depleted I’d been without fully realizing it. That first night, I slept over nine hours and woke up feeling like myself again.
I’m not sure if it’s being so near the ocean, or just having all the planning behind me, or some combination of both. But something settled, and my nervous system finally got the message that we could stop bracing for impact.
Here’s what I keep coming back to, and this is especially true in our wellness-obsessed (yet often unwell) culture:
You can do everything “right” and still feel wired, reactive, and depleted. Like you’re functioning but never fully landing where you are. Skin that won’t calm down even though you’re consistent with your multistep routine. Energy that crashes even though you slept. These are signals that something’s off, and no product, supplement, or routine can cure them if you’re never letting yourself turn it all off and fully rest.
As someone who easily falls into the busyness trap, I speak from experience. Living by my to-do list, burning both ends, moving on to the next thing before the current thing is finished. It’s a pattern I know well and only this year have begun to leave behind.
So this summer, I’m giving myself one real “goal”: to allow myself to be a calm, relaxed woman.
That’s it. Not a productive summer, not a summer full of producing content, not an optimized-morning-routine summer. Just fully embracing calm: in my work and in my life. Time in nature. Nourishing food. Movement that feels good in my body (walks, pilates, stretching, breathwork). Cooking slowly and savoring the process. Writing when I feel actually inspired. Sitting with a glass of rosé, watching the light change, and not thinking about what I “should” be doing instead.
Because I’ve fully learned that rest isn’t optional if we want to live our fullest lives. Not just sleeping at night, but actually stopping and allowing ourselves to be fully restored in our days. This season feels like the invitation I’ve been waiting to accept.
So, the rest of today’s post is all the things that are actually supporting my nervous system right now. Not a list of things you should be doing. Just what’s working, what’s bringing me joy, what’s making me feel calm and at ease.
BEDTIME RITUALS
I talk about magnesium all the time, but it’s worth repeating—I take 3 capsules of this an hour before bedtime—I love that it includes multiple forms of magnesium plus L-theanine and GABA, so it’s really calming and helps me wind down for sleep. Also, spraying my linen sheets with this Vagus Nerve Pillow Mist is giving me life, and since switching to this pillow (the “soft” version), I’ve felt so much relief in my neck tension.
CRANIOSACRAL THERAPY
I just started seeing Dr. Krista in Malibu for weekly appointments to work on the tension and recurring tightness in my neck and head that have been an ongoing issue since my car accident in my twenties. I’ll report back when I’ve done a few more sessions, but I’m already seeing a difference. CST is a deeper form of bodywork that works at the neurological and myofascial level to unwind chronic patterns that cause tension and pain.
MORNING SUNLIGHT (BEFORE SCREENS)
I’ve been making it a priority: 30 minutes outside with my coffee and journal before I look at my phone. So many of us feel resistance to this, and it’s usually the first thing to go when life gets busy, but the difference is real—it resets my body and brain in a way that changes my whole day. I’ve also been adding 2 scoops of this collagen to my coffee. Having some protein first thing has felt really nourishing, and I’m also excited to see the effects on my skin, hair, and nails (Pique gave us this link to get 15% off for life).
WHAT I’M READING
The Ten Thousand Doors of January. Nothing relaxes me more than getting lost in the world of a good novel. This is a true fantasy escape with the most beautiful writing (shout out to for the reco)
Also bookmarked this list of the best books of the year so far. Let me know if you read and loved any of them!
And if you haven’t already, highly recommend diving into the June issue of The EDIT. Leanne Ford and Grace Mitchell’s refreshing approach to design, a dreamy lunch in the garden with Sabrina Rudin, and the best advice for anyone in their 40s… it’s a good one.
WHAT I’M WATCHING
Adam and the kids started watching Secrets of the Bees, and I became completely engrossed in this National Geo docuseries that has made me fall in love with this insanely intelligent creature and the ways they contribute to our ecosystem. Just trust me on this and pls report back.
Adam and I got caught up on Your Friends and Neighbors, and while it’s significantly more stressful than the bees, it’s really freaking good. And thanks to those of you who convinced me to go back and watch The Parisian Agency from the beginning—we’re in the middle of season 2, and I’m officially declaring it my “comfort show.”
WHAT I’M LISTENING TO
Our whole family listened to this podcast episode on how to be a good conversationalist, and it was a great pre-game before a lot of social situations where we don’t know a single person.
WHAT’S FILLING MY CUP
I’ve been calling this my Farmer’s Market Pasta (i.e., you can make it with whatever ingredients you grab at the market):
Chop up some tomatoes, garlic, and basil, and toss with a pound of cooked pasta and lots of olive oil, salt, and pepper.
Sauté veggies of your choice in some olive oil: zucchini, broccolini, green onions, asparagus, whatever you’ve got.
In the middle of the table, place your garlicky tomato pasta, a bowl of sautéed veggies, and another bowl of fresh mozzarella, and let everyone dive in and build their own bowl. Great for picky eaters because they can choose what they love!
(Here’s my salad bowl, servers, pasta bowls, and water carafe.)
WEARING ON REPEAT
This matching lounge set is perfect for sleeping in, but also pulled over a swimsuit and with an oversized sweater thrown over the top.
These denim pants feel like your comfiest sweats but with the cool girl vibes of wide leg jeans. I wore to the farm stand this weekend with this perfect t-shirt, leather sandals, big straw hat, and striped sweater tied around my waist, and got stopped multiple times by women wanting to know my sources.
Spending the summer by the beach has me reaching for linen more than ever before, so I stocked up on a few easy pieces from Sanctuary. These linen pants and button-up top strike the perfect balance and have already become wardrobe staples.
***
A great reminder to pay attention and be astonished at life.
One more thing: if you want to go deeper this summer — on nervous system support, what I'm actually doing differently, on my Forty Files series launching in July (so excited about this one!)—would you consider upgrading to a paid subscription? Paid subscribers get the full toolkits and the deeper dive resources. Would love to have you.
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