You can only be you

“Everybody is a genius.

But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,

it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

This quote is often attributed to Albert Einstein, however, it has not been verified.

If you close your eyes for a moment, and picture this scene in your mind, a young fish at the foot of a tree, it tries to jump and grabs on to the trunk of the tree but fails and falls back on to the ground. It tries and tries repeatedly without success,  with each jump it becomes more and more weary and frustrated. Now turn on one side to look at the nearby trees, you see a dog, a chicken, a pig, all trying to climb a tree wearily. Then turn to the other side, you see a bunch of squirrels joyfully running up and down the trees singing and laughing. An old squirrel school master overseeing this whole exercise shows approval toward the young squirrels and scorns the failing animals. You are at the "Squirrel School for All Young Animals."

It is recess time, the fish falls asleep at the foot of the tree. It dreams of a place with sand, corals, algae all immersed in a blueish light, there is no sight of trees, and there is no gravity either. The fish flies freely and swiftly up and down, left and right, in all directions by just wiggling his body. There are many many other fishes of all sizes, shapes and vibrant colors, they play hide and seeks among the corals, race and chase each other, and laugh their heart out.... A loud jarring sound of a school bell wakes it up, the recess is over, back to tree climbing. 

Years later as the fish grows up and goes out in life, it has a strong dislike for trees, having failed to master climbing, it believes it does not have the essential skill to succeed in life, that it is itself a failure and its life will be the proof. Each time he tries something and fails, that reminds it of its early failures, and believing in its limitations, it resigns from trying further.

Back to the land of humans. Have you noticed that babies are born with an empty mind: no thoughts, no ideas, no language? All our thoughts, values, and intellectual skills are acquired from external sources as we go through life. The human brain is a marvellous instrument designed for the exclusive task of reasoning about the physical world: to collect, compare, evaluate, analyze data in order to discover the physical laws. Humanity has made good use of this mental superpower to transform the physical world, invent sophisticated technologies, and build complex civilizations upon advancements in technologies. However, the human mind has some limitations, its total dependency on data from external sources to construct a mental model of the world makes it vulnerable to conditioning by some authority like "The Squirrel School For All Young Animals." 

Another limitation of the mind is that it is built to focus on the outside world, therefore, it is not closely connected with a person's inner world: the interconnection of physiology and emotions that are governed by an "intuitive mind" independently of the conscious mind. It is this realm of biology and emotion that holds a person's truth since birth. Imagine before you were born, The Universe puts a unique crypto key into your DNA, this key contains the complete information that defines the unique person you are meant to become when you grow up.

Emotions are a language system our biology uses to communicate with our conscious mind. Sadly, our  minds are conditioned to ignore, or to repress emotions for so long that we no longer understand this language--we lost touch with our emotions. An ancient Greek philosopher, Socrates, famously said: "Know thyself" as a first duty of every person before knowing anything else, because every sound decision one makes is based on self-knowledge. And the way to live a happy life is to build it upon the knowledge of oneself. 

How do you gain self-knowledge? The wisdom of the ages has repeatedly said: "Listen to your heart...." 

“Listen to your heart. It knows all things, because it came from the Soul of the World and it will one day return there.” – Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

“The Universe is not outside of you. Look inside yourself; everything that you want, you already are.” – Rumi

“At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.” – Lao Tzu

“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” – Albert Einstein

“There is a voice that doesn’t use word. Listen.” – Rumi

You try to listen to your heart. It speaks of fears, sadness and despair. It says it has not felt love for many many years. It is sad because your mind is restless and confused after years of being mis-guided. It is afraid to see your life slipping away from your true nature, meanwhile your physical, emotional, and mental  healths are in decline.  It has stopped hoping for happier days. Taken by the sadness in your heart, you want to make things better, to change, ... yet, you have not a clue how to go about it. Then you remember your heart said it yearns to be in love. 

Consider taking a quiet moment during your day to listen to these wise thoughts on love from the wisdom of Sufism:

Love yourself unconditionally to release the fears, sadness, despair clinging onto your heart, to restore its youthfulness to the way it was in your childhood, then keep listening its voice. In time, with enough patience, your heart will reveal who you are, what make you happy, what are your purposes, and what are your talents.

How to love yourself unconditionally?

A late spiritual teacher, Louise Hay has laid out this straight-forward process:

1. Stop criticizing, judging, or blaming yourself

2. Take care of your health: nutrition, sleep, exercise, supportive relationships 

3. Accept yourself as you are, with all your qualities and flaws

4. Be kind and cherish yourself

5. Be patient with yourself

6. Forgive yourself for all the mistakes you made

7. Stop scaring yourself with worries about the future

8. Find support from your close relationships when you need help

9. Practice meditation to connect with your true self

You can listen to Louise Hay’s talk about this process in this video: 

In summary,