Families are a constellation of imperfect people. This holiday, many of us will come together and embrace this truth.
Recently, I sat down with bestselling author Adrienne Brodeur for the episode, The Secrets We Carry on About Your Mother, to discuss her critically acclaimed memoir Wild Game: My Mother, Her Lover, and Me. In our heartfelt conversation, Adrienne reflects on the transformative power of storytelling, the emotional toll of secrets, and the intricate dance of love and forgiveness within families.
Adrienne’s life changed one July night at the age of 14, when her glamorous and enigmatic mother, Malabar, woke her to share a shocking secret—an affair with her husband’s best friend. That revelation marked a “before and after” moment in Adrienne’s life, turning her from a carefree daughter into her mother’s confidante and co-conspirator.
During our conversation, we explore this pivotal moment by unpacking the complexity of a mother-daughter bond blurred by secrets. Adrienne describes the allure of being drawn into her mother’s inner world, juxtaposed with the long-term emotional impact of carrying the weight of someone else’s choices.
“Secrets,” Adrienne reflects, “are a psychic poison that alienates us from others and ourselves.”
It wasn’t until adulthood—through writing, therapy, and the unwavering support of friends—that Adrienne reclaimed her voice.
The Healing Power of Memoir
Adrienne’s journey to write Wild Game was as profound as the story itself. She admits experiencing intense anxiety before the book’s release, fearing the vulnerability of sharing her truth. Yet, she found solace in the connections her memoir fostered.
“I thought my story was so unique and quirky, but the themes resonated universally.”
Readers saw themselves in her struggle to navigate a complicated parental relationship, break inherited patterns, and find a path toward healing.
Memoir, Adrienne says, is not about delivering a definitive version of events but about presenting one’s perspective authentically. “It’s a lens shaped by our own experiences,” she explains, emphasizing the power of emotional truth in connecting with readers.
A Reflection on Mothers and Daughters
The conversation delves into the universal challenges of mother-daughter relationships, particularly the difficulty of setting boundaries and allowing daughters to individuate. Adrienne speaks tenderly about her own parenting journey, noting how witnessing her daughter’s independence has filled her with pride and underscored the late blooming of her own separation from Malabar.
We discuss how major life events, like giving birth, bring buried emotions and inherited family dynamics to the surface. Adrienne describes her realization, after a panic attack at the hospital, that she still had unresolved work to do in processing her relationship with her mother. This reckoning ultimately inspired the deeply personal tone of her memoir.
From Secrets to Community
At its heart, Wild Game is a story about connection—how love, secrets, and loss ripple through families and communities. Adrienne highlights the pivotal role of friendship and literature in her healing process. She recalls the transformative impact of books gifted by her stepmother, which helped her navigate the turbulence of her 20s.
“Literature,” she says, “expands your empathy and allows you to leave your own skin and experience someone else’s life.”
Through the act of writing and sharing her story, Adrienne has fostered meaningful connections with readers and rediscovered the power of community.
A Universal Story
Adrienne’s memoir reminds us that while our experiences may be unique, the emotions they evoke are universal. Whether navigating loss, secrets, or love, we all seek understanding, connection, and a sense of belonging. Her story invites us to confront our own truths with courage and compassion.
Cheers to embracing the sometimes awkward reality of family and what it means to love.
XO J
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