Finding Light Through Loss

What if the worst day of your life held the seeds of transformation, not just for you, but for countless others? That’s the question that came to mind as I sat down with JJ Elliot for the recent episode, Writing About Suicide Authentically on About Your Mother. JJ’s journey is one of grief, resilience, and ultimately joy—a poignant reminder that even the heaviest burdens can give way to light.

In our conversation, JJ shares how losing her mother to suicide at 17 shaped her path, leading her to a career as a copywriter, a stint working on suicide hotlines, and eventually, to writing her debut novel, There Are No Rules for This. Her story is raw, funny, and deeply inspiring—and I am thrilled to share it with you.

Copywriter Turned Novelist
JJ Elliot didn’t set out to write fiction. She had a thriving career as a copywriter in advertising and a busy life raising her children. Writing novels wasn’t on her radar until one day, an idea came to her like lightning: a group of friends loses one of their own to suicide, and in their grief, they decide to celebrate life by holding their own funerals while they’re still alive.

“The whole idea came to me in a flash,” JJ explained. “I never planned to write fiction, but all the ingredients I’d been gathering over the years just bubbled up.”

JJ’s debut novel, There Are No Rules for This, is an exploration of friendship, loss, and laughter. It’s a book that will make you cry one moment and laugh the next—exactly what JJ intended. Her goal, she says, is to create stories that hold space for the full spectrum of human emotion.

Grief as a Catalyst
For JJ, the loss of her mother was devastating, but it also planted the seeds for a deeper understanding of mental health and human connection. In the years following her mother’s death, JJ worked on suicide hotlines, a role that taught her the power of listening and offering simple, actionable hope.

“Talking someone through a suicidal crisis isn’t about having all the answers,” JJ said. “It’s about asking, ‘What makes you feel good? What brings you even a little joy?’ Sometimes, it’s as simple as reminding someone to snuggle with their pet or take a walk.”

Her novel reflects this nuanced understanding of grief and resilience. The characters in There Are No Rules for This don’t find easy answers; instead, they navigate their loss with humor, heart, and a determination to honor their friend by living fully.

Lessons from JJ’s Journey
What can we learn from JJ Elliot’s story? Here are three powerful takeaways:

1. Find the Humor in the Darkness: JJ’s ability to blend humor with tragedy is a testament to the resilience of the human spirit. She reminds us that laughter and grief are not opposites but companions—two sides of the same coin. When life feels unbearable, finding moments of levity can be a lifeline.

2. Take Small Steps Toward Connection: Whether working on a hotline or writing a novel, JJ’s journey underscores the importance of reaching out. If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that help is just a call away. The national suicide prevention line, 988, is available 24/7—and as JJ reminds us, there’s no such thing as a “bad reason” to call.

3. Celebrate Each Other Now: The premise of JJ’s novel—holding funerals for the living—is a beautiful reminder to appreciate our loved ones while they’re here. Why wait until it’s too late to share how much someone means to you?

Carry the Lessons Forward
JJ’s story is not just about her journey; it’s an invitation for all of us to take stock of our lives. Who in your circle could use a little extra love and attention today? Maybe it’s a friend you haven’t spoken to in a while or a family member who’s been on your mind. Reach out. Send a text. Make the call. Let them know they matter.

And if you’re a creative soul, let JJ’s journey inspire you to say yes to yourself. Whether it’s attending a writing retreat, starting a new project, or simply making time to dream, take that first step. You never know where it might lead.

Thank you for joining me on this journey into JJ Elliot’s world. I hope her story touches you as deeply as it did me. Let’s keep talking, keep connecting, and keep celebrating each other—in the big moments and the small ones.

You can find out more about JJ and her book on her website.

XO Jen