This diatribe is going to be more personal than I’d like it to be but aspects of it are going reverberate with a good percentage of Thinking Out Loud readers, which I’m assuming includes a higher-than-average number of gray dogs. To you young’uns out there, which is anyone under 55 or so, much of this will apply to you in the near future and that future is a helluva lot closer than you think it is. A reader warning: I’m in a mood today and I apologize for it. It’s just one of those days.
For some reason, the incredible amount of negativity floating surrounding the entire damned planet right now is bumming me out and I’ll bet I’m not alone. Our doctor actually told The AZ Redhead to stop watching the news because she takes the politics and news so seriously it is making her heart problems worse. At this stage of life, we just don’t need this crap! However, we have no choice but to cope with it. That’s the one skill age gives us. The ability to cope.
There are two determining stress factors in life that we all run into (with any luck). The first is that when you have kids, you rapidly realize they don’t come with an instruction manual. They come into our world and we’re expected to know what to do with them. This includes, but is not limited to, how to raise them, keep them from harm, and education them in every possible way.
Truth is, none of us knows a damn thing about raising kids. We make it up as we go along and one of the real challenges is that often what works with one kid doesn’t do squat for the other. My two offsprings, boy and girl, are close to be being different species. Both are unbelievably perfect human beings but totally different. I, for one, didn’t have any idea what I was doing or how to do it. Fortunately, I don’t think I damaged either. However, thinking back on it, the best thing a parent can do is present a good model for the kids to watch in action. If you’re a jerk or dishonest, etc., you’re setting a bad example for your kids. We should all live as we’d like them to. I’m not sure about the jerk part but I like to think I was honest.
The second fact of life most of us don’t think about until it’s too late is that getting old doesn’t come with an instruction manual either. However, now that I’m working on becoming old, I can easily see it’s not going to be what I was expecting. Actually, there too, I don’t know what I was expecting. Maybe a slowdown period where I could become a Gepetto clone and would be creating cool stuff in my workshop. I’d be running around town in my little hotrod roadster and terrorizing the airport in my Pitts. Or maybe finally finish the Great American Novel. At no time did I think I’d still be putting in 70 to 80 hours a week in search of ways to survive.
That sounds like bad news but it’s really not. Life to this point has made me pretty damn good at surviving plus I’m doing exactly what I like to do. Plus, I’m far healthier than I have a right to be. So, I don’t have a single thing to complain about. However, bitching is a natural instinct for most of us, so, we complain.
Incidentally, speaking of complaining: As someone who only had W-2 employment for two years my life, that means I’ve always paid both sides of the Social Security thing, almost 15%. I graduated college in 1968, so I’ve paid 15% for 58 years. If I had put that money in coffee cans in the back yard, we’d be much better off than we are now.
In kicking this subject around, I got to wondering what other cultures have done when folks have exceeded their expiration date. These are quotes from Wiki (whom we know is NEVER wrong, right?)
Native Tribes. Although tribes differ from one another in many respects, they all have one commonality—respect, reverence, and care accorded to older tribal members. Elders act as teachers, honored for their wisdom and their knowledge of Tribal history. We’re not seeing much of that these days.
Romans. Few Romans reached what we would now call old age, as 80% died before what we would consider middle age. That said, the older citizens of ancient Greece and Rome were highly respected for their wisdom, and councils of elders helped rule Greek and Roman society. I don’t remember ever being thought of as being wise, which is probably good because I haven’t a clue of how to be wise.
Cavemen. There is evidence that cavemen cared for their elders and infirm. In fact, it appears that people in the past devoted significant time and scarce resources to caring for those in need. There is archeological evidence that caring for the weak and sick is behavior that goes back as far as Neanderthals. People who were unable to function were helped, looked after and given what care was available. Thanks, but we really don’t need a Neanderthal or two looking after us.
Even cavemen took care of their old as a normal part of living. And they didn’t pay Social Security. With a nose like that, you certainly hope he didn’t have allergies.
Don’t get me wrong. Few of us are looking for handouts or someone to hold our hands. I think what most would appreciate is the opportunity to live as close to normal as possible. That’s one thing our household is doing, but many aren’t as fortunate health wise as we are. Plus, we don’t have a single debt of any kind. Not one! House, car, credit cards, EVERYTHING is paid for and that’s better than being rich. If I was going to pass anything down to my kids that would be an appreciation for being debt free. If you can’t pay for it, don’t buy it!
WOW! I feel better already! Bring it on, life! I’m into my fourth cup of coffee and am ready to deal with you.
Sorry folks! ‘Had to get it off my chest. See you next week with something more up lifting. bd
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