The Reincarnation of June Cleaver?

I know you are all eagerly chomping at the bit for me to share more of my Covid Spikeopathy saga. I am slowly getting around to detailing it in prose.

However, my brain got snagged on one of my guilty pleasures, the latest TMZ schlocky story of the day on the big-screen electronic nipple in our living room.

I am yet again going down another bunny trail that caught my attention. Blame it on Tim’s neurodivergent squirrel hunt for weird news being contagious, or maybe it’s just what happens when you’re married 34 years... like sharing the same sentences (yeah, we do that too).

“Blame it on Tim’s neurodivergent squirrel hunt for weird news being contagious... or maybe it’s just what happens when you’re married 34 years.”

If you are unaware of TMZ, good for you.

It’s basically a blend of The Enquirer meets People magazine.

A few days ago I decided to pollute my brain with mindless fluff while baking my gluten-free homemade bread. I was instantly sucked into an interview that featured a social media and “ex-TRAD wife” personality who debunked the “TRAD Wife Life.”

What is a TRAD wife, you ask?

Great question—and one that only came onto my radar recently.

My late-20-something kids have been tossing that term jokingly around for a couple of years regarding women who enjoy anything related to traditional female roles of yesteryear: homemaking, cooking, sewing, etc.

The term “TRAD WIFE” varies depending on where you hear it, who you ask, and how old you are.

Most people would equate it with a typical stay-at-home mom (SAHM), with images of June Cleaver from Leave It to Beaver—aka the happy homemaker from the ‘50s.

The internet definition—from AI to the dictionary—varies depending on where you look for an explanation... more on that later since I decided to follow TMZ first for their guests “expert explanation” first!

Apparently, TRAD Wife Life has been making a HUGE trendy comeback over the past few years, with social media influencers posting and creating lifestyle channels for women wanting an escape from the previous millennial push of having to “do it all.”

It seems the pendulum has swung back—far away from young women aspiring to be overachievers in both the career and home departments.

Girls have witnessed their overworked, overstressed moms trying to climb the career ladder while juggling kids, homes, businesses, marriages, hitting the gym, getting their filler, Botox, mani, and self-care stacked into already overfilled calendars during their nonexistent free time because my generation was told:

“YES, you CAN do it all... and you WILL be HAPPY being overwhelmed and overworked.”

What a pile of bullshit!

Is it possible that the knee-jerk reaction—and overreaction—to that solution has created a new fallacy...

“...a man is the plan.”

Seems that’s what they’re posting on the Insta-webs.

As I listened to Enizta Templeton being interviewed by the TMZ journalists (not sure about their level of “journalism,” though), I found myself questioning my own understanding and interpretation of a TRAD wife.

She explained in detail that her social media following of over 300,000 women who were “self-declared” TRAD wives revealed that every single one of them was miserable, unhappy, duped, and—more shockingly—unintelligent and controlled.

Sounds like a bad marriage or a cult to me.

She went on to proclaim that any girl who entered married life, had children, and became a SAHM with no college education was clearly unintelligent, with an inability to carry on a conversation with college-educated working women or men.

While caring for the kids, home, and husband, a woman gives up all dreams, hopes, and passions for her future life. She also puts herself in a dangerous position of powerlessness because of her inability to earn money, have any control or power in the marriage, and eventually becomes a useless aged woman who is unemployable by her 50s.

It got better...

And I was seeing visions of Edith from All in the Family at this point, and I really needed popcorn because I had literally left my literal breadmaking for a seat on the couch.

She explained these TRAD women had an actual clothing “uniform” that they evidently wore.

TMZ started rolling clips of YouTube videos with Martha Stewart-like 20-somethings in full-length floral dresses from the My Twinn generation prepping homemade, delicious-looking chicken dinners.

This not only impressed me now, but it would have made ME jealous 20 years ago when I was shoveling Dino Nuggets into the oven after a long day in the office explaining why a virus does not need antibiotics for the 1,000th time.

“I would have preferred talking to a chicken carcass instead!”

The TMZ story got better as the ex-TRAD expert stated that getting married out of high school was a mistake because missing out on education meant you couldn’t have a conversation about world or current events.

How would you know what Apollo 13 was?

What??

Now I’m thinking, are there no TVs, books, or Apple News for TRAD moms either?

Enizta stated TRAD moms were suppressed by a domineering husband who expected full control of finances since it was “his” money.

I wondered, does a TRAD wife get an allowance then, and perhaps a Dave Ramsey envelope to go to Publix for groceries?

The story got better when Enizta confessed to TMZ that she was now “happily divorced and gainfully employed,” an independent single woman raising her two children.

Now she had a better life as a single mom with her career, her OWN money, a purpose, and what she wouldn’t give to have “someone make her dinner, do her laundry, and pay her bills.”

Hmmmmmm?

I had to know the true definition of TRAD wife and find out MORE from her groupies about their experiences and how suppressed they were.

So yep... I went hunting on her social media... and found that TRAD WIVES also make horrible mothers! (Watch it here... lol.)

“Now she had a better life... and what she wouldn’t give to have someone make her dinner, do her laundry, and pay her bills.”

Now, ironically, as I was baking my gluten-free bread and feeling very happy about my retired, self-declared TRAD life, I checked out her online interviews and profile pages to read the comments and hear her interpretation of this lifestyle.

TRAD wives are “beholden to the marriage vows but he (husband) is not.”

Seriously?

This sounds like a bad marriage to me—not a SAHM who chooses that life happily and has a PARTNER as a husband, not a dictator.

The online banter was surprisingly negative toward SAHMs, declaring there are NO middle-aged TRAD moms—or even SAHMs—who have been happy with their lives.

But wait...

My mom and grandmothers both enjoyed their homemaker roles, never appearing “suppressed” as human beings by their husbands.

And in my family... the women actually ruled the roost when it came to big decisions.

There was a constant stream of comments from women insisting their TRAD moms were unhappy, suppressed females who were subordinate to domineering husbands and always put “the men” and marriage disgustingly above the children’s needs.

The more I read, the more I felt like these were all dysfunctional families with horrible marriages and abusive men.

Is that what the TRAD wife was?

A young, naïve, powerless girl trapped by a controlling male?

Or were these happily married Amish families?

Or were these extreme conservative Christian groups or LDS/Mormon-based couples?

“This sounds like a bad marriage to me—not a SAHM who chooses that life happily and has a PARTNER as a husband, not a dictator.”

Next, I consulted my trusty Google AI for a definition, followed by our almost 30-year-old self-declared TRAD daughter for a better explanation.

“Tradwife” (short for “traditional wife”) is a social media subculture where women reject modern career-focused lifestyles in favor of mid-20th-century gender roles. They act as full-time homemakers, focusing on domestic duties like cooking, baking from scratch, and child-rearing, while deferring to their husbands as the primary breadwinners.

Division of Labor: A strict commitment to the “male provider and female caretaker” dynamic. Tradwives often manage all household administration, homeschooling, and domestic labor.

Note: This is clearly me for the past three years. I like to call it Domestic Engineer.

AND... I am NOT controlled by my husband.

Social Media Influence: Many tradwives operate as influencers, turning their domestic routines—such as harvesting crops, baking sourdough, and homesteading—into lucrative content.

Hmmmm...

Sounds to me, Enitzia, that lucrative content means they are profiting and not financially suppressed!

I literally burst out laughing.

Who is NOT baking sourdough these days?!

I’m failing epically right now on my second attempt at my gluten-free starter, which curses my counter.

Maybe I need to make social content about it?

I certainly have about our Aurmina water purification...

Oops.

There I go again, being a terrible TRAD wife!

AI says the TRAD movement sparks widespread debate.

Supporters view it as an empowering, peaceful choice to prioritize family and reject corporate grind culture.

Critics—such as the 300K supposed followers of Enitzia’s camp—argue the lifestyle promotes restrictive patriarchal values and leaves women economically dependent and vulnerable.

Honestly, one of the most vulnerable moments I witnessed growing up was watching my grandfather helplessly fight off malnutrition the week my grandmother left for a conference.

He could only cook toast and succumbed to opening his wallet to the local café for three squares daily until her glorious return home.

“One of the most vulnerable moments I witnessed growing up was watching my grandfather helplessly fight off malnutrition the week my grandmother left for a conference.”

My wise old-soul daughter and I talked.

She is highly in tune with this trend, and being highly emotionally and intellectually intelligent (check her DNA donor pool), she has amazing insight into the pros and cons, lovers and haters.

She thinks there are multiple definitions and levels to this, with many young girls being disillusioned by watching their millennial moms suck it up and envying the June Cleavers of the world.

Martha Stewart makes TRAD mom life look so easy and awesome!

Some young girls are hoping that getting a man “is the plan” and that dream will be enough.

But reality hits hard after a few years when they truly are dependent, alone, unhappy, unfulfilled, and stuck—as TMZ clearly emphasized.

Then there are a few cults, plus the hardcore religious groups that have very clear roles for men and women that get passed on to each generation.

Some rebel.

Some don’t.

Then there are those who truly want to be supported SAHMs with an equal partner and self-define as TRAD.

I think I am less confused.

I thought a TRADITIONAL wife was simply a stay-at-home wife/mom.

However, it seems I need to confirm the real definition the OLD-FASHIONED way (cue the irony again).

I seek the trusty Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition:

noun | TRAD-wyfe

A dutiful housewife active on social media.

Hmmm... sounds harmless.

“Today I: went to a Bible study, homeschooled, made bread, harvested things from the garden, did laundry, made soup, saved tomato seeds for next year’s garden, and painted a silly little picture of a barn. I feel like a tradwife caricature...”

— @nienna121, X (formerly Twitter), October 17, 2024

(Okay, I know MANY friends in their 40s who are fulfilled and doing all these things... happily!)

“Alena Kate Pettitt is a self-proclaimed ‘trad wife,’ one of the earliest and best known in a burgeoning movement of women who spend their days taking care of their homes and families and documenting their activities on social media.”

— @newyorkermag, Instagram, March 31, 2024

Does this sound negative?

“The popularity of the tradwife aesthetic has prompted debate over whether influencers are glamorizing a return to fundamentalist values, such as women retreating from the workplace to care for their husband and children.”

— Rolling Stone, March 1, 2024

Holy smokes... is this a negative thing now?

My bread got baked, and I’m still chewing on this TRAD WIFE trend that’s quickly gaining attention—and now pushback.

I asked a few 50-something friends about it... and of course the term escaped them.

I’ve concluded that Enitza et al. are a subset of girls who erroneously glamorized the SAHM life and warped what can be a very fulfilling time for women.

They picked poor partners or possibly were part of a closed-minded cultural subset of generational families that emphasize the husband as master, controller, and top of the household hierarchy where the buck literally stops with him.

TRAD wife vs. SAHM really varies depending on where you look for the definitions and what your values, biases, and life experiences are.

“TRAD wife vs. SAHM really varies depending on where you look for the definitions and what your values, biases, and life experiences are.”

I’m REALLY curious what the Stack world thinks of this new trend...

Or were you unaware that history is repeating itself as it appears the Domestic Engineer is making a popular climb back into career titles?

I joke about being a retired doc turned TRAD wife.

However, I don’t fit the definition, having had a 30-plus-year professional career with a husband who treated me as an equal—if not, at times, the superior marital partner.

I need to coin my own phrase for us women disillusioned by the Superwoman quest who now cherish being retired homemakers.

RETRAD?

TRAD-tired?

I’m sure Tim can come up with something funnier, flashier, and more foolish.

“I need to coin my own phrase for us women disillusioned by the Superwoman quest who now cherish being retired homemakers.”

As I pondered the potential for my TMZ topic to become GREAT content for our weekly podcast—especially if Enitza guested to discuss her experiences—I also couldn’t help but imagine my favorite Substack contributor, Jenna McCarthy, tackling this topic as well.

She is one of the funniest, most sarcastic writers I know, who seems to be an extension of my brain.

She is an expert journalist at putting humor to paper, and I could only dream of her helping me co-author my biography of my health journey.

It would read like Erma Bombeck’s If Life Is Like a Bowl of Cherries... What Am I Doing in the Pits?, where I reflect on the absurdity and sad struggle that even a doctor faces trying to recognize and then sort through remedies after being damaged from COVID.

Funny enough...

It got me here.

To my RETRAD-tired life that I’m fully embracing and loving as I walk barefoot through the kitchen to munch on my most fantastic organic, GF, hand-baked bread.