God told Hosea to marry the harlot, Gomer. He then told him to get her and bring her home whenever she returned to harlotry. And she did, a lot. This was God showing his relationship with Israel. Additionally, this is Christ’s relationship with the Church.
“When the Lord first spoke through Hosea, the Lord said to Hosea, “Go, take to yourself a wife of harlotry and have children of harlotry; for the land commits flagrant harlotry, forsaking the Lord.””
Hosea 1:2 NASB1995
“Then the Lord said to me, “Go again, love a woman who is loved by her husband, yet an adulteress, even as the Lord loves the sons of Israel, though they turn to other gods and love raisin cakes.” So I bought her for myself for fifteen shekels of silver and a homer and a half of barley. Then I said to her, “You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you.” For the sons of Israel will remain for many days without king or prince, without sacrifice or sacred pillar and without ephod or household idols. Afterward the sons of Israel will return and seek the Lord their God and David their king; and they will come trembling to the Lord and to His goodness in the last days.”
Hosea 3:1-5 NASB1995
“For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls.”
1 Peter 2:21-25 NASB1995(emphasis mine)
Unfortunately, husbands and fathers today would rather capitulate to their adulterous wives’ demands than follow the example of God and Christ. But God didn’t capitulate to Israel and try to understand why they did what they did. He consistently went and brought them home. In the same way, Jesus never tries to understand why His bride steps out. He seeks to bring her home and all of the individuals therein. This then is a template for how husbands ought to lead their marriage. And this is how fathers ought to lead their families.
If a husband capitulates to his adulterous wife’s demands, or a father capitulates to his rebellious children’s demands, he won’t find the answer to his questions. Only when that kind of man looks in the mirror will he see where the problem lies. That’s not to say the sin of the wife or the children is his sin, far from it. But since God ultimately gave the responsibility of the home to the Husband and Father, it’s safe to say He’s going to hold the husband of a wife stepping out or the father of a rebellious child responsible.
The way you lead, men, is the way your home follows. If you have a wandering eye, your wife and daughter will have no problem dressing to catch the eye of other men. If you rebel against God, your son will live in rebellion against you, his mother, and any other authority figure God places over him. The familial trickle-down effect is real and will last for generations until it stops. Either God will end your bloodline or you, your child, or your children’s children will say “that’s enough,” and finally mean it. Only a weak man would do that to his family.
Additionally, for you weak men who are “godly” in word and deed but Ahab at home, God didn’t tell Hosea to find his wife, sit down with her therapist and her, and then politely ask questions to find out why she did what she did. That’s antithetical to the divine calling of men. God told Hosea to get his wife, bring her home, and then get her again, and again, and again.
“But, Alan, how do I do that with these women in 2025? You don’t know what it’s like to be cheated on. You’ve only cheated on your wife!”
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.”
Ephesians 5:25-27 NASB1995
The principle is true whether the circumstances are the same or not. Love your chosen person, your bride, as Christ loves the Church. Get her and bring her home. Don’t ask. Tell her.
“Then I said to her, “You shall stay with me for many days. You shall not play the harlot, nor shall you have a man; so I will also be toward you.””
Hosea 3:3 NASB1995
“That’s so patriarchal and authoritarian!”
Yes, it is because you are the divinely ordained patriarch and authority over your wife and home.
“Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.”
Ephesians 5:22-24 NASB1995
Get your wife and bring her home.
After all, if you stepped out on her and were willing to come home, wouldn’t you want her to let you? Even if it’s biblically understandable for her to divorce you on the spot, wouldn’t you want the opportunity to receive grace if she were willing to give it? I know I was. And my wife was willing. And we have a little girl and a boy on the way. That is Grace, brother. Tell her to come home, and her letting you come home is the same Grace. Lead accordingly, and your family will follow. If you don’t want them to follow the principles of God’s Word, don’t follow the principles of God’s Word.
Don’t lead.
But men must lead.
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