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Brooke Teegarden · Jun 23, 2026

Someone had to remind your MAGA fathers why they didn’t hear from you on Father’s Day

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The trouble for MAGA men who build their lives around family values is that eventually the family realizes they have none.

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1. The Abandoned Patriarch

I very rarely mock grammar but I KNEW you all needed me to say it this time.

It didn’t seem fair for only one MAGA father to be blessed with my attention, so I went looking for another whose children want nothing to do with him.

That was indeed very easy to find.

2. The Fatherhood Performance Artist

A few vocabulary words before we begin.

Excoriate: to severely criticize or condemn

Mendacious: habitually dishonest or deceitful

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