Who do you think you are?

It’s Thursday afternoon.

I’ve run errands for most of the day. Some mine. Some for hire.

At this point I’m being paid more to pick out and purchase thousands of dollars worth of garden vases than I ever was explaining - for the one thousandth time- what a pheasant ballotine is and I’m thrilled about that.

More then ever, my career has evolved to a level more reminiscent of what I’ve fantasized for myself. Nothing feels like a day job. Everything feels like how I’ve longed it to, personal and purposeful.

“You know who could help with that? Brittany.”

Events, restaurants, writing, errands, interiors, wardrobes, a Human Design reading, a dinner party, a retreat cook… you name it, and if you ask me to do it, I can and I will OR I’ll tell you who you need reach out to to get the job done.

Anyway, I’m one Happy Hour gin martini deep at the restaurant where I used to work. Where I waited on Alan and then fell in love with him a few months later (four and half years ago). Where I met some of my very best friends. The place that led me right to the edge of the cliff I needed to jump off of in order to find out I actually can fly.

Time is crazy. Life is crazy. I’m 42. I’ve just received my first pair of reading glasses because…oh my fuck I actually need them now and I finally understand what my fellow sisters-in-perimenopause describe as brain fog and irritability.

The more I lean into the absolute absurdity and hilarity of it all, the more enjoyment and ease I am finding. Shit…works…out…even if I’m indescribably angry sometimes and a little tired.

I’ve ordered creatine and some Omega-3s.

My podcast this month explores the power we have over the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. The ones that subconsciously shape our beliefs and how our faith in those beliefs is what creates our reality.

I’m constantly listening to and reading discourse on this topic and so feel a bit redundant talking about it however I think it helps to have more translations about something abstract and challenging to find language for so here it goes…

It seems to me as if a large portion of us are suddenly opening our eyes to realize…wait a minute… does everything HAVE to be this hard?

The tax for enjoying a life means that we will unavoidably have to deal with hard things, loss and grief and the challenge that comes from being stuck in our own brains and bodies without the exact knowledge of what it feels like to live as someone else. Communication can be a bitch.

Knowing that inherent challenges come with being born, I’ve become very bored and tired of my subscription to the “hard life hustle” narrative we have been convinced of since birth.

Since someone realized that by making others believe they are weak by making them afraid, can come power and with power can come control. Somewhere along the way enough of us started agreeing that this must be true and forgot that an agreement can only work with compliance from both sides. We gave up our power when we decided to feel afraid.

But what are we actually afraid of?

When I called my PCP this week to find out that indeed they were ALSO out of network from the IDIOTIC insurance plan I chose from marketplace because it was the most affordable ((despite a (come to find out) $10,600 deductible that NONE of my existing doctors accept even though it said they would)) I was PISSED.

1. Because why didn’t I take a little more time to research?

2. Why was THIS the only plan affordable??

3. HOW is $250 a month AFFORDABLE???

4. WHY IS THIS SO SEEMINGLY HARD????

It’s a story that has a simple solution we’ve been convinced is complicated and I refuse to believe it any longer.

I’m not an idiot and you’re not an idiot.

We are brilliant and how dare we assume any other truth be true?

Admittedly, I have no immediate solution to offer. I have no desire to and doubt I ever will run for office or get into politics.

But I believe in the power of each person.

I believe in individuality and creativity and love.

I believe that the majority of people are good and that if we get enough of us believing in that truth as well, the scales will tip in our favor again.

The more we live into our own integrity, believe in our power and sovereignty, wake up and see the lie that we HAVE to comply by arbitrary rules made by icky, shady dickwads, the closer we get to a world with more flow and less friction. It’s much less scary when you realize you create the world you see.

How exciting!

To tell ourselves the stories of our lives?? To realize the power and fun and magic in that?

Wow.

Anyway, I was a little tipsy when I started this rant a few days ago and now just plain old hormonal.

My eyes are magnified to the size of ping pong balls and I’m excited to be writing. Since I’ve taken my foot off the gas of desperation, frantically trying to figure out my life and what I should be doing, I have found an incredible and magical rhythm.

Telling a new story and watching it unfold. Cheers to that.

A few other things:

• June’s Podcast will post by the end of this week.

• Monday was voted the day you’d most like to see my newsletter hit your inbox and so it will be.

• I forgot about this pop of red purse I have and wanted to show you.

  

• Essie Glass Nails collection is very chic and I love it. Above, I layered the pink and red polish and think it’s cute.

• This is my favorite hair mask at the moment.

xoxo, Brittany

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