I’ve been in New York this week—one of my favorite yearly trips—and noticed that a recurring theme wound its way into several of my conversations.
It came up during dinner with a sweet college friend as we were discussing the care of aging parents; during breakfast with my favorite beauty writer, Jamie Rosen, as we were discussing the ways in which we navigate life in this wild world of beauty; during another dinner with a dear business school friend as we were discussing the care of his wonderful partner when she fell ill; and during my pilgrimage to the always-inspiring Dr. Elizabeth Hale’s office (I always get a facial there anytime I’m in New York) as we discussed the challenge of balancing it all when you want to do everything, and everything well.*
Like most things in life, these complicated situations share shades of gray, no instruction manual, and ample opportunities for self-criticism: whoever we are, wherever we are, we tend to beat ourselves up repeatedly over the things that we think we’re not getting right, which are all too easy to find.
Self-compassion, and the need for it, was the theme that I saw winding its way through all of these conversations, and frank conversations like the ones I mentioned above are such a gift. Learning more about one another allows us to expand our view beyond our solo ruminations so we can see that we’re not alone in our efforts and insecurities; instead of focusing on the glassy surface that we see on Instagram or LinkedIn or Facebook posts, we’re more likely to dive through it and find more of a sense of commonality, ease, and flow in the fluid depths underneath.
Since I got to see Dr. Hale yesterday afternoon, I thought it would be the perfect time to share the last piece of her “How She Does It” series because it’s all about social connection, the support systems we build in our lives, and how critically important they are. It’s never too late to build these systems, and there is no right way to go about it. But I find what Liz says to be inspiring as always, and I hope you do, too.
If this series is new to you, you might want to read this introduction first, followed by this popular first post with Liz, then a run-through of a day in her life.
Next week, I’ll share the last installment: our full conversation about social connection, family, and the support systems behind her busy life. It was such a meaty conversation that I’ve saved it for its own post; I’ll also summarize my key takeaways from Liz’s series at the end. I don’t want to forget any of it, and I suspect you won’t, either.
I took the photo above just after 5pm yesterday, as Dr. Hale emerged from surgery and was trying to wrap up her day, scan her email for anything urgent, and prepare for a dinner with the presidents of the different NYU Alumni Associations—Liz is the president of the NYU Alumni Association for the Medical School—at 6. She graciously smiled for the camera, asked after my family, recorded a couple of videos for you all…and as she always does, made connection a priority.
*Speaking of wanting to do everything: those conversations, along with a visit to The Morgan Library—which I highly recommend—and work catch-ups were all squeezed into 24 hours. I really pack the agenda during my family vacations, but I’m even more of a maximalist during trips like these, which I refer to as my “momcations.” I dug into this “How She Does It” topic for you…and for me, too.
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