My ever-so-sincere thanks to Ace Hardware for the only Father’s Day greeting I’ve seen this year. But it’s only 5:45 Sunday morning, so…who knows what surprises the next 18 hours will bring? Wonder if the restaurants will be crowded…
If you missed the ad – and you’re a Father - may I be among the first to wish you a great day. And I hope I’m not the last.
If you’re among the thousands of Fathers who receive little or no such greetings, welcome to the Big Club. If you are among those who are greeted with mild sarcasm or perfunctory recognition, you are among the not-so-new majority. Yay you! How do you like being a casualty in the long-running War on All Things Men and Boys, the societal bias that goes unnoticed?
For the Blissfully Unaware of all sexes, you should have noticed the rapidly declining status of Men, Dads, Boys, and all things Toxic Male; it started towards the end of the Boomer generation. Like most wars, it began with a whisper, then a wink and a nod, and, finally, grew into a full-blown SOP in every nook and cranny of life and society. Books have been written about it, tragically unread by those who should read them.
(Here’s a good starting place. I spoke with the author several times. Make it your personal Father’s Day present. It goes well with a nice bourbon and an ice cube.
The War continues relentlessly. On sit-coms – if there is a “father” character – most often he’s a bumbling, out-of-touch moron, barely tolerated, and routinely ridiculed. Watch the next 5 TV commercials. If there is a male character, odds are he’s at least a 2nd Degree idiot. If he is a White male, he’s an embarrassing clod, most likely the punch line or punching bag for a Strong Female. If he’s a Black father figure, he’s invisible –unless he’s the Manager. Then he’s brilliant, assertive, and having his ass kissed by a subservient White guy, surrounded by an approving crowd of every minority under the Rainbow. At best, men of every age and race – except the openly gay guys – are background after-thoughts. And those are just the subtle messages.
Of course, there are exceptions to be celebrated. “All”, “None,” and “Never” are faint praise, flaccid pejoratives, or improbable physics.
As a BWW reader, I strongly suspect you may be one of the Good Guys who has earned the love, respect, admiration, and recognition you deserve.
As a man, I suspect you don’t give a damn.
I also suspect your testosterone and male ego allow you to pretend, rationalize, and lie to yourself. Occasionally…
Happy Dad’s Day!
BW
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