A smooth process for saying no and declining work on good terms

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When I first quit my job 12 years ago, I knew I made the right choice for my career and myself. However, once the excitement passed, I was afraid that I would just sit in front of my computer eight hours a day, five days a week, and no opportunities would come my way.

After spending a lot of sleepless nights worrying about landing clients, I dove into building my business and was thrilled to find that (luckily) my fears were unfounded. I worked hard at putting myself out there by letting my network know I went freelance and pitching myself to potential clients. The opportunities started rolling in, and I excitedly agreed to all of them.

However, I realized very quickly that saying yes, yes, and yes presented its own problem that was the opposite of what I had expected. Instead of being thirsty for work, I was suddenly drowning in projects and commitments. Money was coming in, but I was stretched thin.

What I learned the hard way (working well past midnight in the early days) is that landing work feels good and is a privilege, but at the same time, saying “no” is just as important.

Solopreneurs need to discern between the opportunities worth pursuing and the ones to pass on. You need to leave room to breathe, take on higher-paying engagements, and dedicate time to the business beyond client work.

Here’s a straightforward approach to being thoughtful about when and how you say “no” without closing doors.

Before you can hope to evaluate potential opportunities or relationships, you have to develop a standard against which to judge your options.

Late one night, during the period when I was absolutely flooded by clients, I found that some of the work was far more enjoyable and felt less taxing. I found myself dreading the work that I instinctively felt was not advancing my career. That aha moment directed my focus.

The first step in understanding when to say “no” is to define the type of work you want to do and are most qualified to do, what types of clients you want to work with, what you’d like your ideal workload to be at any given moment, and what work is aligned with your rates.

For example, a freelance designer might specialize in branding for small businesses to avoid the bureaucracy of bigger firms, prefer working with hands-on founders, take on no more than three projects at a time, and require a minimum of $5,500 per project.

Obviously, no engagement will live up to this exact idealized version, but having clarity on what you are looking for can help determine whether it’s worth pursuing further or not.

Once you have identified what your ideal opportunity looks like, you can use that definition as a rubric to analyze whether a particular project or client is a fit or not at face value.

If an opportunity seems aligned at first pass, the next step is doing your due diligence by researching the client and assessing them during a discovery call. You’re hoping to find alignment so you’re confident you can deliver value for them and avoid clients with a track record of shady behaviors.

Research entails a quick overview of their website, social media, recent news, and available third-party reviews (like Glassdoor, G2, Blind, Better Business Bureau, or Capterra) to see where the opportunities are to support them and any signals they’re not a reputable partner.

Beyond selling your services, the discovery call is a chance to assess what kind of client they might be in real-time by understanding their priorities, how they work with outside partners, and how they respond when things don’t go according to plan.

This comes down to paying close attention to how the client treats you in these earlier stages and what questions you ask to understand if this is a definitive “yes” or “no”.

Most of all, you need to align on what you’re delivering for them (the project scope) and what you’re being paid for the engagement (the project fee). That’s critical.

Ask these questions to understand if this is the right project beyond the scope and fee:

• When it comes to this engagement, what are the top priorities we need to get right?

• What made previous collaborations with contractors a success for your team?

• How do you typically handle disagreements when they come up?

• Which stakeholders will be involved throughout the process to make this run smoothly?

• Is there a reason this project is being handled externally instead of in-house?

Sometimes the answers here will be illuminating, one way or another, and even not having a response can say a lot. The point is assessing whether a project is a fit under the surface.

If an opportunity isn’t aligned with what you’re looking for, or the client seems questionable, saying “no” is likely the right choice, so you’re making room for better engagements.

When there isn’t another way for you to collaborate with the potential client, or you don’t want to be associated with them, here’s what you can say to close out the interaction with tact. I’m an advocate for burning zero bridges, so I like to quickly say “no” with gratitude.

Hi Jessa,

Thank you for the interest in collaborating on your UX needs. After reviewing the details of the project, I’m not the right fit as a partner. Wishing you all the success on this.

Best, Brian

You’re briefly thanking them for considering you as a partner, including a specific detail about what type of project it is, so it doesn’t come across as templated or generic. And clearly indicating that this is not a match on your end, without needing to clarify why. Lastly, end with a positive note that you hope their project is a win. Then sign off, and you’re free.

It’s a three-sentence “no” that’s gracious, direct, and doesn’t leave room for interpretation.

In other circumstances, you need to say “no” even to an aligned potential client because the timing is off, as you’re at full capacity and can’t bring on any more work.

And other times, you’re definitely interested in working with the company or team, but the proposed project is misaligned either in scope, pricing, or a combination of both.

In either case, you need to say “no” but want to indicate you’re open to working together in the future when you have the bandwidth, or suggest a different way of collaborating.

I’ve seen other solopreneurs hastily brush off projects that don’t immediately align and leave money on the table from interested buyers. I’m one of those solopreneurs! I’ve passed on my fair share of projects that didn’t match my ideal opportunity, when I could have provided other options that landed the engagement in a different way that’s beneficial to both parties.

First, here’s what to say when the timing isn’t right:

Hi Eve,

Thank you for the interest in collaborating on your UX needs. I’d love to support you with this project, but I’m at full-capacity. Would you like a referral to another contractor I trust?

Either way, I’ll follow-up in Q2 to see if there’s anything I can help with.

Best, Brian

For this one, we’re assuming you have some familiarity with this client. It’s a brief response, leading with a thank you. You share that it is the type of project you’d like to explore collaborating on, but can’t as the timing doesn’t work given your full workload.

To be of service to this potential client, you ask if they’re interested in a referral to another freelancer, which is a moment to go above and beyond for them, as long as you have quality collaborators in your network to recommend.

End it with a call out that you’ll be in touch within a specific time frame to see if they have any additional project needs in the future. You must follow up with them to demonstrate you’re reliable, and sometimes, you’ll even land a project if the timing is right.

Now, here’s how I’d say “no” when the client is right, but the price or scope isn’t:

Hi Noah,

Thank you again for walking me through the UX project. As I shared, I’ll have to pass on this as the budget is below my standard consulting rate.

If there’s flexibility, I can support the team with a monthly advisory call instead to review progress and offer recommendations as you execute. The deliverable would be XYZ and the fee for this engagement is XYZ.

I mentioned this path forward on the call yesterday. Let me know if you’d like to discuss next steps. I’d love to make this work for both sides.

Best, Brian

We’re operating under the assumption that you’ve done your due diligence about the project and have spoken with the client directly about the misalignment. Most of the time, it’s best to decline the project in the meeting with them and offer an alternative in the moment. In other scenarios, it’s appropriate to take a beat and get back to them about your decision. You’re in a better position when you’re negotiating live, so only do this over email unless it makes sense contextually.

In this example, we’re recapping what was established in the previous meeting with a potential client and politely acknowledging why the current scope doesn’t align on your end. Next, we’re briefly explaining a different way of collaborating together in line with their budget, but with less of a commitment on your end.

You could go into more detail, but what’s most important is recapping what the client receives from this type of engagement and the associated cost. End it by stating you’re ready to move forward with this secondary option if and when they are. The intention is to offer flexibility to clients while ensuring each project fits within your workload, properly compensates you, and is genuinely enjoyable.

Each “no” is different. To recap, the three common circumstances for saying “no”:

• Hard no - Wrong match, no future interest.

• Not now - Right match, wrong timing.

• Not this - Right match, wrong scope.

Continue to adapt your approach to turning down work as you go based on the response you’re receiving when you say: not now or not this. The hard no moments matter a bit less.

I always start with one of the templates above and save it as a canned response in Gmail, and then adapt it to the circumstances of the client and the relationship. I wouldn’t automate this much more than that, as a personal touch is needed for these to land with the recipient.

Being able to handle these situations quickly yet gingerly makes the process much more pleasant for everyone involved. Saying “no” with intent can help preserve your reputation as a thoughtful, kind business partner and in the best-case scenario, land you more work. As Steve Jobs put it more eloquently: “Focusing is about saying no.”

[A version of this article was originally published in Entrepreneur.]

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