Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my last job and what I actually accomplished. While some days I feel like I changed and “disrupted” so much, other days I have no idea what exactly I moved forward in my almost 10 years at the company.
I think a lot of people I worked with would be quick to rebut this. And to be clear, I’m not looking for praise — I have a concise list of accomplishments I’m genuinely proud of. If someone looked at that list on paper, they’d probably say, “See? Don’t be silly, this is just ‘imposter syndrome.’” But when I really consider my time-to-outcomes ratio… the issue feels a lot deeper.
The harsh truth is that many of us probably don’t move forward nearly as much as the hours in the day would suggest we could have. I spent almost 20,000 hours at my last job (just a rough calculation of a 9–5 over 9.5 years), which is absolutely insane to me. When you look at a chunk of time that large, my tidy little list of accomplishments starts to feel almost silly.
The problem is, so much corporate work just evaporates: meetings that spin in circles, projects you pour months into that get “tabled” and quietly disintegrate, budgets that shift overnight, coworkers you relied on who vanish in layoffs, priorities that pivot and suddenly make your efforts irrelevant. That’s not a knock on individuals — it’s just the messy reality of business and an ever-changing economy. But it’s still a hard pill to swallow: dedicating years of time and energy to a company, only to feel like there’s so little real output to show for it.
For me, the contrast hit hardest once I had a child. Suddenly, I would look at the clock at 8:30 a.m. and feel like I had already lived a thousand lives. The sheer amount I accomplished in tiny pockets of time was staggering. It wasn’t just a feeling of being more productive — it was measurable. I had to do 2000% more things on top of my job in 1/10th of the time I should have been given to do them. And so, my corporate job began to feel questionably unimportant — even unproductive — in comparison. What was I actually doing with all that time during the week? What did I really have to show for it?
I think this is part of a broader career awakening many of us have — not only as parents, but as we move into our late 30s and early 40s. An awakening intensified by the drastic shift to remote work in 2020, and the whiplash of now returning. A realization that something needs to change. And if I had to pick one group to lead the charge, I’d bet on parents — who, quite frankly, are beyond over this facade.
As some impetus for this rant-like post, I blame (and thank) Alex McCann, who captured this reality so perfectly in a post called “The Death of the Corporate Job”. I’ve read it (and subsequent posts in the series) many times and encourage you to as well, but here’s a short excerpt:
”Walk through the City at 8am and you’ll see thousands of people who look purposeful. Sharp suits, coffee in hand, calls already starting. The whole thing looks impressively important.
But talk to those same people individually, and a different story emerges. They’re in back-to-back meetings where nothing gets decided. They’re managing projects that exist primarily to justify the existence of project managers. They’re creating strategies for strategies, optimising things that didn’t need optimising, disrupting things that were working fine.
The pandemic pulled back the curtain for a moment. When everyone worked from home, it became obvious who was actually doing things and who was just... there. Some people’s entire roles evaporated when they couldn’t physically attend meetings. Others discovered they could do their “full-time” job in about three hours a day.
Now we’re back in offices, and everyone’s pretending again. But something’s shifted. The pretence feels different. More conscious. More exhausting.”
What McCann goes on to point out is that the corporate role hasn’t disappeared, but its meaning has. Many people are using their jobs as scaffolding for something else: side businesses, creative projects, parallel careers. The paycheck and the stability act as a funding mechanism while the “corporate persona” is performed on the surface. For younger employees especially, the illusion never set in — they know their job title doesn’t describe anything real, so they play along while quietly building escape routes.
He describes the commute as a daily costume change: hoodies turning into suits as the train pulls closer to the city, postures straightening, faces rearranging into “professional neutral” — and then the reverse each evening as people shed the mask and return home as themselves again.
The corporate role, he argues, isn’t collapsing in dramatic fashion but eroding through diminishing belief. The offices still gleam, the meetings still happen, the emails still flow — but the faith that any of it matters is slipping away. And in that emptiness lies opportunity: to stop pretending.
To see the role not as identity, but as infrastructure. Useful for stability, skills, and time — but not the definition of a life.
That last part right there in bold is the one that, had I read this on paper, I would have highlighted and underlined and circled (yes!!!)— this idea that our jobs don’t have to be our identity. They can be scaffolding, a resource, a season. Which, for parents especially, feels like both a relief and a call to reimagine what comes next.
Because parents are needing their “next”. They are hitting a breaking point and usually, out of their crushing sense of overwhelm, really grappling with the question: does my job even matter — beyond my paycheck?
Why am I spending all day in meetings where nothing gets accomplished while someone else plays with my child? Why am I defending “why this job gives me purpose” when I don’t feel it anymore? Why do I spend half my day scribbling down ideas for companies I could start, or ways I would redesign my career if I had the chance?
Now, not everyone will feel that way. But if you’re subscribed to this Substack, or have gotten this far into the post, I have a feeling you do. You want something more meaningful. You want your work identity to align more closely with your true identity at home. And I get that. Welcome, my friends. You’re in good company here.
For some, what this shift may look like staying — but advocating harder for your personal needs, schedule, and workload.
For others, it may mean shifting — into a new role (full or part-time), starting consulting, launching a business, or even switching industries altogether.
And for some, it may mean stepping away — taking a career break to recover from corporate whiplash and re-evaluate what you and your family need right now.
All are valid. And what I love is seeing the advocacy, the snowballs of change building and rolling quickly - through articles like the one above. It feels like an accurate depiction of the movement that I keep saying is coming: the reprioritization of productivity, time, the meaning of a paycheck, and the erosion of full-time, corporate loyalty career definition as we’ve known it for decades.
“Burn it all down and build it anew!!!!”, I say, holding my match. More tamely put: I’m here for you. And here are some amazing opportunities to learn and connect this week:
**Exclusive Both& Opportunity!**
We’re launching STUCK — a new way for parents to quickly get matched to curated, trusted resources that already exist to support career and parenthood. From career coaches to LLC setup guidance, health insurance options, or even prompts for talking to your boss — the goal isn’t to reinvent the wheel, but to make what’s out there easy to find and relevant to you.
Join our 30-minute feedback & collab session!!!
Next Wednesday at 11 am PT
Attendees will receive exclusive free career coaching and resources as a thank you.
Register here
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For those anywhere (remote)
Expectant & New Moms Small Group Coaching Cohort
Launching this fall, this small-group program (led by Coach Kelly Ling) is for women who are expecting or within 1.5 years postpartum. It’s for ambitious professionals who want clarity in their priorities, confidence in showing up at work and home, and community with women navigating the same messy middle. - For those in New York (regional event!)
Shared by Kelly Ling of Stork Bite
An intimate, high-impact event for ambitious women navigating career and motherhood in high-performance environments. You’ll hear from speakers who understand the pressure — and have found ways to thrive. The night closes with networking among a remarkable group of women who are in it with you.
Shared by Moderator Anne Welsh
Have an event? Submit it to info@bothand.co
October 20th — Hunt, Gather, Parent by Michaeleen Douclef
Comment or message me for the invite!
In summary…. If you’re sitting with that question — what am I really accomplishing with my time (my life???)? — know that you’re not alone. The system was built to consume hours, not to honor them. But you don’t have to keep playing by those rules. Whether you stay, shift, or step away, the power lies in deciding that your identity and your worth aren’t confined to the walls of a corporate job. And you can always read more stories on bothand.co.
Until next week,
Kaleana
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