WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump routinely hides in a catering truck parked outside the White House to avoid talking to JD Vance, Secret Service sources revealed on Thursday.
According to the sources, when agents see the vice president approaching the Oval Office they immediately activate a silent alarm and hustle Trump out the back door.
From there, Trump is whisked into a “McRig,” a massive tractor-trailer provided for this purpose by McDonald’s.
“I’m not sure this is sustainable,” one Secret Service agent said on condition on anonymity. “Hiding Trump in a catering truck is like hiding Pete Hegseth in a liquor cabinet.”
In other White House news, press secretary Karoline Leavitt announced she was stepping down to spend more time lying to her family.
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