Someone recently asked me how I manage to put myself out there all the time. So I thought I’d talk about how I do it in more detail…as a faux extrovert!
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been an introvert, who often presents herself as an extrovert.
I’m someone who treasures the quiet moments—curled up with a book, journaling, thinking about ideas, or simply enjoying the calm of my own company. I get energized from solitude, reflection, and being in spaces where I don’t have to be “on.”
Yet, if you meet me through my work with Clever Girl Finance, you might get a completely different impression!
I’ve had to step into the role of a “faux extrovert”; a term that resonates deeply with me and perhaps with some of you too.
Being a faux extrovert means adopting behaviors that are usually associated with being a real extrovert i.e. networking, public speaking, engaging with large groups of people. This, despite being someone who naturally thrives in more low-key environments. It’s a bit like wearing an extroverted hat for specific occasions, even though you’re more at peace in your own world. I won’t lie - sometimes, it’s EXHAUSTING!
Running Clever Girl Finance has required me to adopt this extroverted persona more often than I ever imagined.
Whether I’m speaking at events, running workshops, or engaging in conversations online, there’s a part of me that has to come forward and perform.
And perform I do, because I believe so strongly in our mission to empower women. I push past the natural urge to retreat (more like run away lol) because I know the impact my business is making is bigger than my personal comfort zone.
But here’s the thing—I’ve learned to thrive as a faux extrovert, and it’s been an unexpected journey of growth.
I’ve found that for me, the key to thriving in this space has been finding balance.
When I put on that extrovert hat, I give it my all. I engage, I share, I connect. But what’s equally important, and what keeps me from burning out, is making space for recovery.
After a day of meetings or public events, I need to retreat and recharge my batteries. For instance, doing things like spending quiet evenings journaling or reflecting on the events of the day, hanging out with my husband, or simply being still.
I will say that one of the misconceptions about introverts, especially faux extroverts, is that we don’t enjoy social interactions. But that’s not quite true.
I enjoy connecting with people, especially when it’s meaningful, and I really value the community I’ve built around Clever Girl Finance. But those interactions can sometimes drain me, so I have to be intentional about giving myself space to breathe and reset afterward.
Another important aspect of thriving as a faux extrovert is giving myself time to think. I’m not the kind of person who can immediately jump into action without thinking (and sometimes over-thinking) first.
I need to process my ideas, plan, and create mental space to ensure that I’m making the right decisions. The world can sometimes feel fast-paced—where you’re expected to respond quickly, or be constantly available. I’ve learned that it’s okay to say, “I need to think about this and get back to you.”
This permission to think is a gift I give myself, and it’s something I encourage others to do as well, especially if you feel like the world is always rushing you. It’s part of how I show up as my best self, and it allows me to keep showing up for others in an authentic way.
At the end of the day, no matter how many faux extroverted moments I’ve had, I love being in my own company!
There’s something deeply rewarding about spending time with yourself—whether it’s through journaling, listening to music, or simply sipping tea in a quiet room. These small moments keep me going - they ground me, and they remind me of who I am outside of my public role.
Being alone doesn’t mean being lonely; it’s where I find clarity and peace. And I believe that anyone—whether you’re an introvert, extrovert, or somewhere in between—needs time with themselves.
Ultimately, what keeps me going as a faux extrovert is the mission behind Clever Girl Finance. Helping women take charge of their finances is something I’m deeply passionate about, and that passion gives me the courage to step into roles that don’t always feel natural.
I remind myself often that this work isn’t about me. It’s about the women who are changing their lives, their families, and their futures because of the tools and education we provide. And that’s worth every uncomfortable moment.
So, while I’ll always be an introvert at heart, I’ve learned how to channel my faux extrovert when the occasion calls for it. I’ve learned that it’s okay to step outside my comfort zone and embrace a version of myself that can stand in front of crowds, lead conversations, and share my story—all while knowing that after the lights dim, I can retreat to recharge.
Being a faux extrovert has taught me that we’re not defined by a single way of being.
We can stretch, grow, and adapt without losing sight of who we are. For me, that’s an introvert who loves quiet moments, time to think, and the joy of my own company, even as I step into the world to make a difference.
Do you feel like a faux extrovert too?
I'd love to hear how you balance your inner world with the external demands of your work or personal life. Comment below!
Thanks for reading to me think out loud :)
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