Dearest friends on the internet,
I regret to inform you that…THE PANTRY DOOR WAS LEFT OPEN!
Miss Frankie noticed. Within eleven seconds, she had entered the premises and appointed herself Chief Pantry Auditor.
She inspected the lower shelf. She examined several cans. She placed one paw inside a reusable shopping bag and stared into the distance as though receiving instructions from corporate.
The woman asked her to leave. Miss Frankie moved farther inside. The woman offered a treat. Miss Frankie interpreted this as an admission of wrongdoing.
Eventually, she emerged carrying nothing but the satisfaction of knowing she had delayed dinner preparations by twelve minutes.
This is the difference between cats and dogs. Dogs enter the pantry hoping to find food. Cats enter because a door was open and someone must be held accountable.
Her report has been submitted to HaloNet.
Findings: The pantry contains food, the woman lacks authority, and the door should remain open for follow-up inspections.
Very truly yours,
Bob
Former Chief Cabinet Inspector
Unauthorized access is a feline birthright
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