This One Absolutely IS an "Either/Or"

Several times we’ve discussed the “false dilemma” — the unnecessary use of the word “or.”

For example...“wealthy OR happy”...as though it’s necessarily one OR the other, when of course it can and should be both. Another is “nice OR successful.” Then there’s “giver OR receiver.” And numerous others.

All of these are “ANDs,” not “ORs.”

On the other hand, there *are* those things that are in fact one *or* the other.

For example, one cannot be ungrateful AND happy. A leader cannot be a manipulator AND have a loyal organization. A colleague cannot be a known gossiper AND be respected.

Those are indeed “ORs.”

Perhaps most importantly…

Key Point: A person cannot be a victim AND a victor. It truly is one OR the other.

Before I continue, please allow me to establish a premise that differs from some others. There’s a teaching that claims there are no victims and that everyone — perhaps on some type of metaphysical level — always directly causes their own situations.

With all respect, I strongly disagree.

In my opinion, there certainly are victims — and through absolutely no fault of their own. People (and groups of people) are victims of natural disasters, of elements of their birth, of upbringing, of diseases, of despotic tyrants, of bullying, of horrible incidents that they did not cause.

They are victims. And in no way whatsoever did they bring it upon themselves.

The Big Decision: However, I believe the choice they have is whether to *remain* a victim or to do whatever they can to improve their lot and become victors.

If there’s one thing I’ve noticed in my 68 years, it’s that there is no such thing as a victim AND a victor…simultaneously.

Most of us have been victims of something, whether as individuals or as members of groups. Sometimes little things. And other times, really, really big, horrendous, even monstrous things.

And we all have the right to remain a victim and live in our victimhood.

Or, we can decide we’re no longer content with that and do everything we can to become a victor, an overcomer, a hero of our circumstances.

One thing we cannot do is be both victim AND victor. It is definitely an “OR.”

Today’s Exercise: Look back at times in your life you chose to live in victimhood, as well as when you made a decision to do whatever it took to positively change your situation. What were the results of each? Another idea is to make it a practice to read or watch the stories of others who have suffered far greater victimhood than you have, yet went on to achieve enormous heights. Use their examples as inspiration.