Where is the line between sibling conflict and sibling abuse?

If you have more than one kid, you’ve probably asked yourself this question at some point: Is this just normal sibling fighting… or is something more serious happening??

As a therapist, I do appreciate that we’ve done much better lately as a society at reminding parents that, yes, sibling conflict is normal. We ALL have those moments where the kids are playing in the other room - you hear them laughing, then whining, then laughing louder, then the “Owww!!! I hate you!!” and one runs in crying. That’s all of our homes (mine included!).

But, we haven’t done a good enough job talking about the other side of the equation. Sometimes it isn’t normal conflict. Sometimes, one child repeatedly hurting, intimidating, or frightening another kid inside their own home.

As a therapist, this is something I’m deeply passionate about because sibling abuse is real. It happens more often than many people realize, and it’s frequently minimized with phrases like, “They’re just brothers,” “Sisters fight,” or “Boys will be boys.”

Here’s what I want every parent to know:

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