Three weeks from today I will take ordination vows as a Zen priest. I am somewhat scared shitless, and shaving my head in public is the least of it. Or maybe it’s the most of it – I really can’t say.
I imagine the shaving to feel like the moment when the ketamine kicked in hard and everything dropped away: my vanity, my nostalgia, my fantasies, my regrets; the lived experiences and the paths not taken, the stories, the people I have loved, the people who love me. Me. Nothing left to fear. Nothing left, but the scrape of the blade and the cool air on my naked skin.
And then immediately, it starts to grow back.
So what happens when you step off a 100-foot pole? It’s a mystery, and a dare.
I got this fancy hair buzzer from the Buy Nothing group with a full suite of attachments from 1” down to 0. I’m taking it down a notch every few days. I’m at 3/8” now and in fact, getting rid of all that dead cellulose feels great. Really, it’s just a haircut.
**********
You may find the preamble to this momentous event way back HERE.
Comments
Nothing yet. Say the first thing.
Sign in to join the conversation.