The Decluttering Diaries

I know I’m excited about something when I feel compelled to write about it IMMEDIATELY. Also when no one I live with shows enough interest in something I’m really excited about, so obviously I then have to share it more widely. BE EXCITED WITH ME!

And this is one of those moments, because this week, after years of talking a good fight about having less stuff in my life, but never quite managing it, I CRACKED IT.

I think what works for different people, very much depends on the particular reasons for being someone that finds it hard to let go of things in the first place. Something which I’m finding increasingly interesting. What IS the psychology behind hoarding and the various levels of it? Without having even looked, I’d wager a bet it’s about control and fear rather than having anything to do with greed.

Controlling your environment when perhaps in the past (or indeed in the present) you’ve felt you had very little control, and fear of not having the means to buy something again should you ever need it, if you don’t hang on to it. I’m sure it goes way deeper than that, and is much more nuanced, but as a bit of surface psychology, I reckon that’s a good start.

And without wanting to turn into arm armchair doctor, this is also likely why interventions don’t work either for hard-core hoarders, and people just go back to their old ways, because even with best intentions you’re still taking away that persons control.

Obviously I’ll now be adding the topic ‘psychology of hoarding’ to my podcast list, and I’ve not looked, but there must be a load of podcasts about various levels of hoarding, right?

Maybe I should have looked for one years ago, but as Ed always says when I beat myself up about not doing something sooner, you get to things when you get to them because that’s when you’re meant to get to them. Or something like that.

I only listen to two genres of podcasts, and they’re probably as at odds with one another as you can get: True Crime, and Self-Help. Ha! I’ve listened to a lot of True Crime so far this year, so may be a bit of self-help is in order.

I do get why professional de-clutterers exist. However, I would never even dream of letting one near my things. I guess the entire point is that they don’t have any emotional attachment to anything that belongs to another person, though that’s also precisely why I can’t imagine ever enlisting the help of one. Nope. No Way. Get away from my stuff.

Luckily I think I’ve been saved from being a true hoarder by my interiors obsession, and caring (too much) about what my house looks like. The two really don’t go hand in hand, so I’ve always been more of a pretty on the outside, mayhem within, with light hoarding tendencies kind of person. I also know for a fact that I’m much happier when I’m in a calm organised environment, so that awareness is also serves me well, and prevents me from teetering over the edge.

I’m probably supposed to insert a Monica cupboard joke here, but I was never a Friends fan so I’ve never fully understood that or the context, but my best guess is that it would be quite relevant.

Anyway, my eureka moment came earlier this week. I found myself sick of looking at some chaos I created a few weeks ago in the ‘sauna room’ (the spare room next to ours which will be our en suite) when I had pulled everything out of a few boxes, and left most of it just sitting there because I didn’t know what to do with it.

I realised three things:

1. BABY-STEPS. It’s a process. Looking at is like this, and accepting it, is really important because it means you’re letting go of the guilt. I realised that there is no point in beating myself up for not being able to deal with throwing huge amounts of stuff that I’ve had for years and years away in one go. Break it down into rooms, cupboards, boxes, or even smaller chunks over time. Whatever works for you is FINE! Even dealing with one small box of things is better than nothing.

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